Along came Avery

5 1 . t h e f i r s t l a s t b r e a t h

As soon as we arrive, we drop off the cupcakes I insisted on getting, and then he is showing me around his house. He shows me the outside and the inside. It's so modern, better than the last time I was at his house which was a good five years ago. He shows me his brother's room — the same brother he hardly speaks about. He leaves his bedroom best for last.

His room is so... clean. Extremely clean and in order. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. His bed is at the far right, table at the far left. A guitar here, some books there. Random items that just makes sense that he would have. The bathroom he has in his room, I'm sure it looks like that of a magazine house. This time, being in his room feels like the first time. It feels more personal. More intimate. I literally grip my bag against my chest as I stand there awkwardly.

I hear Avery chuckle from behind me. It is low, but audible. I turn to look at him just as he moves towards his bed. He puts my bigger bag down, the one with my changing clothes, night clothes and sanitary stuff. "Feel free to make yourself at home, Bubbles. Don't feel weird about being in my room."

"Yeah... Yeah, it's just... your room looks a bit different than the last time, you know. I don't know, I just have to get used to it." I walk in further and then towards his desk, watching as he does the same. I place my hand bag on the table.

"Okay, well, take all the time you need." I watch as he takes off his bangles and two rings, leaving the one index ring and the one thumb ring. I can't help that my eyes hungrily eye the veins sticking out the back of his hand, up his wrist. I even have to roll my lips when I see him crack his knuckles. He turns to me, smiling as he cups both cheeks in his hands, and then he pecks my lips. "I'll get the cupcakes. Drinks? You want something to drink?"

I nod slowly. "Whatever is nice. Preferably no alcohol."

He chuckles, rolling his eyes. "Coming right up."

I watch as he rounds me and leaves his room. After just a couple of seconds, I sigh deeply, hands raising to my face and I cover it, trying to calm down my beating heart and fast breathing. I feel like my heart is literally in my throat. I can't even think straight, my mind keeps zooming back to the rat poisoning.

I then move to my bag on his bed, contemplating whether to change into my night dress or to remain in this dress. I can't even think straight, and it frustrates me. I head back to the desk, digging for my phone and making sure to close my bag properly. I then unlock the screen, partially surprised to find messages from my friends. My ex friends, I guess they are now. Spam messages from Qailah, and I grin at it, but at least two from everyone else.

I sigh, reading Qailah's heartfelt message. I should probably even give her a call just to thank her, not?

Qailah: ...and I can't wait to see you.

"What—" my shoulders jump a bit at Avery's voice right behind me; "—are you smiling at?"

I turn around in time to see him place two glasses on his desk, and the small tray of cupcakes, and then he takes the bottle from under his armpit, and places it right next to the glasses. He spares me a second of a glance.

"Just messages from the group. They wished me happy birthday." I wiggle my phone as emphasis.

Avery hums in disapproval, shaking his head and then moving a step closer to me, even though a step is already too close. He then cages me between his desk, one hand on either side of my hips and then bends his knees a bit so that he is more or less on my height. His face is really close to mine, I have to lean back just a bit. He blinks at me, and it's quite clear since his trimmed hair doesn't cover his eyes.

"They don't matter anymore. I get that you forgave them but... it doesn't matter anymore what they do. You should just move on from them, truthfully."

I nod slowly, licking my lips before shrugging and I have to look away because he literally refuses to look anywhere else but at me. "I-I mean... I know. I know that. But I also appreciate them messaging, you know? Like at least they still care."