Along came Avery

4 2 . a c c e p t a n c e

The both of us turn to look at the person who calls my name timidly, voice filled with concern and hurt. Qailah stands not too far from us both, eyes diverting between us before glancing down. I lick my lips, eager and conflicted on whether to kiss Avery now and feel better, or end this little moment I thought we were having by pulling away from Avery completely — whose hand on my hip has tightened — and address her, Qailah.

I look up at Avery, who's eyes press shut for as good as a moment before his hands remove from my body completely, hand now raising up to move strands from his forehead. I scratch my forehead a bit, feeling a sense of awkwardness lifting in me, and maybe a frustration vibrating off of Avery.

"I... I just saw you now and so, I thought we could speak? Just the two of us." I hear her say.

"Haven't you spoken enough?" Avery responds before I could even respond, I have to side glance him.

She didn't even speak.

"I didn't speak—"

"Yeah, that's the whole point. I don't really think you have much to say to her."

"That's why I want to speak to her now." She rubs her arm awkwardly. I hate how my hearts suddenly clenches at it. "I won't even be long. I just want to talk."

My tongue grazes my lips in thought, before I take in oxygen just to exhale it a second later. I nod. "Okay—"

Avery takes hold of my forearm, pulling me back to him after I've taken a step in her direction. He leans down a bit, lips brushing up against my ear so he can't see or hear what he's saying. He says; "Whatever she says, take it with a pinch of salt. If she has so much to say, she should have said it when you were with the group. Yeah?"

I hum, nodding my head before pulling away, glancing up at him before nodding again. Just as I'm about to pull away once again, he pulls me back my my forearm. This time I look at him with an eyebrow up, but even before I'm given a moment to think about anything else, his unoccupied hand takes hold of my neck, and then he confidently leans his head down and presses his lips against mine.

It happens quickly, so I guess I could call this a peck. They press on my lips and then they are removed. He gives a small smile, and then pulls away from me properly. "I'll go to the trials."

In front of Qailah? He can kiss me in front of Qailah?

Despite the butterflies in the pit of my stomach for the umpth time, I nod and blink at him. He nods back once, and then he shifts towards the gate. It's basically him walking as though towards Qailah, so I see her shift her gaze down to the ground as he passes her.

As soon as he is tagged in the gates and no longer within ear's reach, she sighs deeply and walks towards me, a frown heavily pinned on her face and her shoulders sagging. "Zee..." when she is in arms reach, she wraps her arms around me, pulling me in her embrace.

I can't hug her back. Even if my body wants to just because it feels another presence embracing me, my mind tells me no. I can't. I shouldn't, because she could have given me the comfort when I really needed it. She should have maybe done this in front of them, showing that she would provide comfort. Yet here she is, giving me comfort with no one around. Her Indian hair partially tickles my face but I don't move it away. I just stand there frozen, waiting for her to pull back.

She does, awkwardly so, and then drops her hands to her sides. She nods slowly. "Well... I mean, I was just leaving now because I'm not feeling well. Kind of had a headache and also the group... they were just spewing nonsense and I just... I just wanted to clear my head. I'm glad I saw you now."

Take everything she says with a pinch of salt. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Right. I just... look. I'm sorry about what happened. I'm apologising for the group as well. I can only imagine how much this is for you and what you've been through, and I think we should have given you a chance to speak your side of the story without judging you. Trust me," she chuckles, "I've been through things I wish people would give me a chance to express but I was also afraid they'd judge me so I kept it a secret. I know what it feel like and in that moment, when Nate was saying all those stuff... I thought about me. What I've been through, and I thought, would they judge me the same?"