Chapter 5. Three O'clock in the Morning

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"Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love."

- George Eliot

- George Eliot

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"Chay...Chay...Chay...Chay...Porchay...please...baby...please..." Kim's weak voice was scaring even him.

He was never so desperate, so broken. But no matter how much he begged, pleaded, swore that he would do anything his whole life was still lifeless and cold laying on the dirty, torn chequered blanket; the basket full of food, still untouched, the bottle of wine, still unopened beside him.

Every positive emotion Kim ever felt evaporated from his body leaving only agony and rage. He leaned down to Chay's ghost-like body, taking him into his arms for the one last time, hugging him so tightly that his nails were leaving their marks on Chay's cold body.

"It's alright, everything is alright, you are alright, my love. I make sure they will all suffer," Kim was whispering over and over again between his sobs and gentle kisses he was leaving on Chay's bluish lips stained with carmine blood.

Kim didn't know when or how it happened but suddenly it was completely dark, and he stood above a six feet deep hole in the ground, Chay covered in a blanket, motionless in his arms and his clothes were dirty and torn so much Kim almost looked like a zombie.

He suppressed another sob trying to cut its way out through his throat. "I love you. I will love you for the rest of my days. You will always be my only moon." Kim pressed one last kiss on Chay's forehead, blinking away his tears.

One tear fell on Chay's forehead, falling down to his lips, melting in with the dry blood on his chin.

Kim closed his eyes, let Chay's body down into the ground, and covered the grave back to the brim, making sure that the spot under the Weeping Willow would look as undisturbed as possible.

The crown of the Weeping Willow shielding them from the rest of the cemetery was providing Kim with the only comfort he would feel for decades to come.

Kim put his hand on the freshly made grave, saying goodbye again. He did it over and over again, he couldn't leave. Every cell of his body was screaming at him to stay there with Chay forever. It would be so easy just to stay there with his only moon, his only love. Just lay down on the grave and let yourself die slowly...slowly...slowly... Every second would feel like forever and every forever would be just a second of his painfully slow death.

Why couldn't he be a human? The dying wouldn't take more than just a few days — laying there on the cold ground, not eating nor drinking anything. His soul would leave his body and he would be able to meet his Chay again. They both would be dead but they would be dead together.

Together, always together — that's what they had promised to each other. So why? Why was this happening to them? What did Kim do wrong?

The self-loathing, pitiful laugh left his quivering lips...everything! He did everything wrong. Protecting Chay was in his blood, in his nature, it was what he was meant to do, and yet he made the fatal mistake — he let his Chay die.

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