Chapter 18. Death By A Thousand Cuts

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"The death of what's dead is the birth of what's living."

- Arlo Guthrie

"Are you alright?"

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"Are you alright?"

Kim felt a gentle touch of Chay's fingers brushing over his shoulders before they went up to his hair. The smell of Lillies and air after a summer rain was even more prominent after Chay got out of the shower, and mixed with the scent of Kim's eucalyptus and mint shower gel it made Kim's body shiver. Chay's scent was the most perfect scent there was. It was the only scent that could calm Kim down and push him to the edge of insanity all at the same time.

No matter how many times, how long he tried to find a scent at least similar to the perfect scent of his mate, nothing ever came even close. All those perfumes, shower gels, scented candles, and fragrance oils he bought were useless, only piling up in the bedroom until Macau couldn't look at it anymore and threw everything away when Kim was at the club.

That was why smelling the scent of his mate again, so close, so deeply, knowing that he could do that every day, all the time for as long as his soul longed for — it was an overwhelming feeling, but Kim would rather feel like this — so overwhelmed that it was knocking him down to his knees — for the eternity rather than to lose that scent from his life ever again.

He wrapped his arms around Chay's waist and bored his head in Chay's stomach, "you smell so good, baby."

Chay giggled, his fingers still brushing through Kim's hair, "it's your shower gel."

"No. It's you — Lillies and the air after a summer rain."

Chay's fingers stopped their movement, he made Kim look up at him questioningly.

"Do I still smell like that?"

"Always," Kim smiled, pressing a kiss on Chay's clothed stomach. "Go to sleep, Chay. I'll take a shower and be right back."

Chay nodded, stepping out of Kim's arms. He started walking to the other side of the bed but stopped, "but...are you alright? You seemed sad when I walked in."

Kim smiled, shaking his head, "I wasn't sad. I was realising how happy I actually am."

Chay beamed, relaxing again, he sat on the bed, pushing his feet under the covers, getting cosy. "Okay, good night."

"Sleep well, angel," Kim said, watching Chay close his eyes and letting himself be carried into the land of dreams, before he finally convinced himself that it was safe to leave the room, leaving Chay alone for a couple of short minutes.

.....

Kim's consciousness took over him again, his arms empty, he stretched his hand searching for the comforting warmth of his mate just to be confronted by nothing, just an empty cold side of the bed.

Sitting up, eyes searching for his mate all over the room, scanning every corner, his heart rate gained on intensity when no matter how much he tried Chay was nowhere to be found.

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