The Right Time (Lestappen)

We race as one

Max had been relieved to be back at the track after a hectic few weeks. The support he had received since coming out had been overwhelming but he also felt a weight of expectation that he wasn't sure how to deal with. It seemed that he was supposed to be some sort of ambassador for LGBT rights when really he was still trying to figure out his own journey through all this. At least on track he could exceed expectations, he could push the limits, he knew how to handle pressure on track but in life he wasn't sure what he was really doing at all.

Testing in Bahrain had been going well, that was until the final day when he had been hauled into a meeting with representatives from the FIA. It was unexpected. He had been called in to see the stewards plenty of times before but he couldn't recall a time when he had to meet with the FIA during testing.

'We don't think you should race in Saudi.'

The words were still ringing in his ears. He had thought that he must have misheard them. Or maybe this was all a nightmare. He dug his fingernails into his hands, he definitely felt pain, this wasn't a nightmare, this was actually happening.

'We've spoken with the organisers, there has been a lot of back and forth and well they just aren't comfortable with promoting a certain lifestyle.'

The brunette woman was factual, no expression on her face as she read what was clearly some pre-prepared statement.

'Bullshit!' Helmut Marko, head of driver development at Red Bull, barked. Of all the people Max expected to speak up for him Helmut wouldn't have been top of the list. Then again Helmut, above all else, just wanted to win and they stood a much better chance if his driver was actually allowed to start the race.

'We are thinking of Max's safety too, you know homosexual activity is against the law in that country' the woman continued.

'I'm gay, not a sex addict, I'm not going to jump someone on the podium.' Max spat out incredulously, earning a stifled laugh from Christian.

'Look, Max is right, you shouldn't be punishing him for this' Christian was trying to be the voice of reason even if it meant fighting against his natural desire for sarcasm and provocation.

Max looked for a reaction from the panel sat in front of him but there was none. This was clearly not a discussion, they had already made up their mind. He was not in the mood to sit around and be insulted.

'I've done nothing wrong. I will be racing at ALL races this year' he said confidently as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him for extra effect.

The confidence was short lived as outside he felt his knees buckle beneath him. He was bent over, gasping for air when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up and was met by a worried looking Lewis.

'Max, are you okay?' Lewis sounded genuinely concerned. He placed his hand gently on Max's cheek and turned his face to look at him properly, checking everything was alright. Under any other circumstances the feel of Lewis' hand gently on him would have been all Max could think about but right now he was angry.

'They don't want me to race in Saudi, or I'm guessing any country where I could be deemed to be promoting some sort of lifestyle they don't approve of' he explained.

Lewis was shocked, in fact it was more than shock he felt furious. There was no way he was letting the FIA do this. They talked often about inclusivity but when it came down to it the words were hollow. He was fed up with their empty platitudes, now was a time for action. He realised he was still cupping Max's face and quickly let his hand drop to his side.

'Don't worry Max, we'll sort this out.'

Max had to admit that Lewis' confidence was comforting. Well, comforting enough for him to regain the strength in his legs and stand upright. Still, his breathing was restricted and he felt himself taking shallow breathes, he knew if he didn't get it under control soon he was going to have a panic attack. He recognised the signs well by now. Lewis could tell something was wrong and gently rubbed Max's back a little to try and help calm him down. His intentions were good but as Max felt the sensation of Lewis' hand on him it did anything but calm him down. It sent shivers down his spine, now his breathing was erratic for a different reason altogether. He needed to leave.