Ruby and I

chapter 38

"Are you free?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah...but wait, didn't you just see Clark walk out of here?" Camila asked.

"I did...but I was walking behind him. I didn't want him to see me." Ruby said before walking into her office.

"Okay, sweetie, before you tell me anything, I just wanna let you know that Clark is just as conflicted as you are. He told me everything. Your relationship beforehand, his kidnapping, and the argument. He spilled all his feelings and regrets everything he said to you that night." Camila said.

"I know he's sorry..." Ruby said.

"Then why are you here and not with Clark?" Camila asked.

"I don't know, Camila! I wanna forgive him, but I'm afraid to do it because what if he does it again? Those words that he said to me that night fucking hurt my feeling!! He really blamed me for what Mandy did to him, and I'm supposed to forgive him? I risked my entire life saving him, which is his way of thanking me. I can't do this!" Ruby yelled.

"Okay! Okay! I-I understand! Let's take a seat," Camila said as she calmly led Ruby to the couch.

"I'm going crazy...I don't know what to do." Ruby said.

"I know you're angry about this...but there has to be another reason why you're ignoring Clark," Camila said.

"...I'm not a wife," Ruby said.

"You're gonna be one soon," Camila said.

"No, Camila...I'm not meant to be one." Ruby said.

"If you weren't meant to be one, why did you say yes to marrying him?" Camila asked.

"At the time...I felt safe with him. He made me feel that I wasn't a bad person. Even though I played games with him initially because I didn't wanna fall in love." Ruby said.

"You know it's not a bad thing to fall in love," Camila said.

"No, it isn't. The last time I fell in love with someone, I was hurt." Ruby said.

"Who hurt you?" Camila asked.

"...Before I had met Clark...I had a boyfriend named Baron back in high school down in Florida. I loved him a lot, and at the time, I thought he loved me. And when I thought we were becoming more serious, he started to be someone completely different that I didn't like. He became too possessive and controlling, but I thought he'd return to his normal self soon. And then he did something to me that I will never forget. We went to a party one night, and he got me a drink. I took a few sips, and I remember my vision for blurry, and I couldn't really stand up. So he took me to the bedroom to lie down. And I thought he was staying with me to watch over me. But instead, he took advantage of me. I didn't mention it to anyone because I thought it didn't matter. He was drunk. I was drunk. It happened. Whatever. And then, after we had graduated, I wanted to move up to New York after college with my family because we always wanted to. And my boyfriend freaked out on me because he thought I'd cheat on him while I was away. We had a huge argument that led to us breaking up. So I went to New York with my family and lived happily." Ruby said.

"Was that the last time you saw him?" Camila asked.

"Unfortunately, no....when Clark and I had broke things off...Baron came to New York and said he was visiting. He showed up at my job, we argued, we fought, and then we had sex. And it was so meaningless. I didn't care about anything at that moment. I just wanted to get my mind off Clark when he had Mandy. And then when I got back with Clark, that evil bitch hired him and another guy I knew to kidnap Clark. So not only was Mandy doing this for Clark, Baron was doing this for me. They were doing this to get what they wanted, which was us. But he felt guilty, so he decided to help me find Mandy. After they were arrested, I was told to visit him in jail, and he apologized for being such a shitty boyfriend and kidnapping Clark. And I thanked him for helping me and forgave him for how he treated me. And then I walked out and never thought about him again." Ruby said.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"...And after all that, you and Clark are still together. And do you think he is gonna hurt you like Baron did?" Camila asked.

"...No...but if I forgive him and marry him, he just might," Ruby said.

"Ruby, stop that. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings because you have every right to feel this way. But think about it, everything you just told me right now about your ex, it sounded like he was a nightmare, but it was good for him to apologize to you after years went by. But for Clark, he crosses the line once by saying cruel words to you, and he's acting like he hit you. And being the man he is, I know he'd rather hurt himself than put his hands on you." Camila said.

"...Am I being too hard on him?" Ruby asked.

"I can only say this; there is a man out there who is willing to do anything for your forgiveness. He asked you to marry him for a reason. He forgave you for not giving him a response when he told you he loved you. And you're still blaming yourself for it, and you're blaming yourself for what Mandy did, and you know that's not your fault."

"But it is...." Ruby said.

"And is that what you want this marriage to be based on? How you both did things to each that you regret and are too afraid to talk about it together? I know you don't want that." Camila said.

"Of course, I don't," Ruby said.

"So what are you gonna do about it? You can't hide from him forever. You're gonna have to fix this, and you know it." Camila said.

Ruby grabs her phone from her bag to see various missed calls from Clark.

"He's not gonna stop until you pick up his calls. You really need to do something." Camila said.

Ruby stares at her phone, contemplating her only two choices. Fix things with Clark or leave him. But after what they've been through together, the least she can do is hear him out.

"...Okay. I'll talk to him." Ruby said, getting up from the couch.

Camila smiles at Ruby and leads her out of the office, and closes it. She presses her back against the door and looks up, talking to God. "Lord, please bless them...."

Camila is working really hard to keep them together! What do we think about her advice? Do you agree? Disagree? And is Ruby crazy for thinking about ending their relationship?
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Bye!💋