waiting for sadiq

23

WAITING FOR SADIQ
CHAPTER 23

Abubakar POV

5months, five agonizing months i have been stuck in this hospital, all surgeries failed, sometimes everything will go as do it's healing and all of a sudden it comes down crashing back again, the doctors have tried there best, the last surgery i had was 3momths ago, I thought I was healing all the doctors where happy but then suddenly the bone cracked again, it's a hopeless situation.

"This will be your last surgery,
If this didn't work I'm sorry we will be left with no choice than amputating your leg."the doctor say two days ago.

I'm worried sick to my stomach,
I want to be optimistic but how can I be sure this will work after 6 failed attempts, the only thing giving the doctor's hope is because whenever they do the examination on me i assure them i can still feel my foots with it's a big lie,
  the only reason i always say that is because i know once they get to know I'm not feeling anything they will start concluding my nerves are damage and the only solution is amputation especially me as a diabetic patient there's high risk of infection getting on the way.

"How are you feeling?"the nurse ask with a smile and i nod.

"Good."I say as she hand me the medication.

"You are quiet and moody Today abubakar, I thought you said your mum is coming back today?"she say and i look up at the brown skin lady I'm getting too comfortable with.

"I'm okay,
Yes spoke with her few hours ago,
Her flight may have land by now."I say glancing at the wall clock with a sigh.

She sit on the chair next to my bed with the usual smile on her face.

"Are you upset because the doctor said this might be your last surgery?"she ask and i shake my head.

"I'm not upset,
I'm just not ready to accept the changes going on in my life."I say and she stare at me for a while before averting her gaze.

"Insha Allah you will be back on your feet, and if things does go as we want then we just have to learn to embrace the new changes,
"Fa inna ma'al usri yusra,
Inna ma'al 'usri yusra."she quote the verse with a long pause and look up at me.
"Verily after every hardship there is relief, After every hardship there is relief" Abubakar there must be a reason why this was repeated twice in suratul inshirah, The almighty is trying to give us assurance,
" to stay strong" regardless whatever situation we found ourself he's with us.
I don't know what you've been through but don't think that the Almighty forget about you because he's with you, he has always been with you.
Right."she say with a smile and i nod with a weak smile.

Amina Habib is a nurse in this hospital, at first we don't usually get along because of how grumpy i was with everyone but with time everything changes, she's one of the nicest people i ever come across, she told me she's a Nigerian, born and raised in the city of Bauchi state but relocated here few years ago with her parents, she always keep me company and have a way with words to lighten up my mood regardless how upset I am.

"Thank you."I say and she smile with a nod as the door open making her to stand up.

"Welcome ma'am."she greet my mum with a smile as my mum slightly hug her as she ask her how i have been doing and coping for the past two weeks.

I release a heavy breathe of exhaustion and the door open again and to my greatest suprise Nanah walk in, sure this is a suprise, it's been a long time since we last spoke,
Even do once in a while my mum try to bring up her topic i usually avoid it because anytime i think about her i just feel so hurt and try my best not to think of anything that will upset me.

*********************

It was a long flight for khadijah, she have this airsickness that makes her keeps throwing up, when they arrived at the airport abubakar mum called a friend and they took them to there hotel room before they head to the hospital, throughout the drive to the hospital khadijah find herself nervous regardless how Abubakar mum try to make conversation or assure he everything is going to be alright it still did not make that jittery feeling go away, she can't even remember when last she spoke with abubakar, she's worried and scared at thesame.

Once at the hospital, they take the elevator to the 26th floor and head for the hospital room, khadijah Stand outside trying to calm the nerve wrecking anxiety and after a while she open the door and enter room.

"Abubakar is fine and....
Ohhh is this your daughter?"the nurse ask and khadijah give the girl a look before turning her gaze back to abubakar who's staring at her, she can't really understand what emotions is going on inside him but one thing is certain he's suprise.

"Nanah i will be back."abubakar mum say and leave with the nurse who's updating her on abubakar health.

"Abu."khadijah call walking inside the hospital room as abubakar turn his gaze away from her.

"What are you doing here Nanah?"Abubakar ask and khadijah stare at him.

He look really different, his hair have grow more than usual and his unshaved beard give him a tiring look that still doesn't hide how handsome he looks to her.

" I come to check on you Abu,
I have been worried an..........

"Nanah look."abubakar say curtly and look up at her.
"Stop wasting your time "waiting"
There's no point because that feeling isn't there anymore,
I don't want to give you hope on something i know is impossible,
As you can see I'm battling with my health and even do i get well which i know it's not anytime soon,
I won't want to go back to my past,
If by any chance i survive this and my legs are fine again, I will want to start afresh because i won't want to remember anything that remind me of this painful experience,
And if by any chance my legs got amputate then......
I won't even want to live Nanah,
I don't want to be angry with you forever but I can't be happy with you either,
Move on Nanah,
Find love, find a man of your standard and be happy but don't wait for me.
"Waiting for sadiq" will not give you sadiq because this sadiq heart doesn't belong to you anymore."Abubakar say staring at Nanah who's lost of words.

The only thing she do is stare at him as the tears leave her eyes, at this moment she doesn't know the exact thing to do, how can she even forget about sadiq when every second and minute that pass by she think about him, she want to believe that abubakar is saying all that because he's angry and maybe want to test how much patience she have but then staring at his eyes this moment she knows, he meant every single word and that her abubakar sadiq is not longer hers but the choice is hers, can she move on or will she continue
"Waiting for sadiq"