SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 7
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR
“I would like to do a one-on-one session first. The reason for me saying that is because I want to test something – which I am obviously not going to say what it is. I will start with the gentlemen here. Mam, you can wait at the receptionist area.”
Nozimanga stands up already feeling bored with the set up. She sits on one of the couches and checks on the time constantly. Hopefully by twelve they will be done. She passes time by reading up on the magazines, but time seems to be not moving in seconds! It was just a complete waste of time – her being here. Obviously, she is not needed.
Back in the room…
“Can you tell me about yourself.”
Simphiwe takes a deep breath. This is not what he came here for. He now regrets suggesting it in a way.
“Simphiwe Shandu and I am a doctor.” He responds looking outside the window. He is seated on a chair across from the therapist – if that is what they call him.
“You are here to probably diagnose the problem of your marriage and work on the problems, am I right Mr Shandu.”
He clears his throat… “Yes.”
“How long have you been together?”
He smiles a bit. “For as long as I can remember. We started dating when we were in high school.”
“What makes you seek professional help?”
Looks like he is going to be bored throughout this session!
“We have been fighting a lot lately.”
He nods his head and writes something down in what seems to be a diary.
“Have you been to couples therapy before?”
“No, my wife once suggested it, but I never saw the use of it up until today.”
“What have you done or tried to promote change?”
He rolls his eyes in annoyance. All these questions do not matter and even heck make don’t make sense!
“No.”
“What would you consider to be the biggest problem? When did it start?”
He cannot answer that now he can? He unzips his jacket feeling uneasy.
“Can I have water?” the sudden thirst in him. The counselor hands him the bottle of water and looks at him firmly as he gulps down with his shaky hands.
“Are you good?”
Simphiwe shakes his head yes. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly.
“You can answer.”
This man is really pressing on his buttons!
“Cheating.” he whispers falling to contain eye contact.
The man looks at him astound but composes himself. Again, he writes down whatever he does.
“Why cheat?”
He does not have the reason for cheating to be honest. It's just him being selfish!
“My wife and I have been trying for a baby for quite some time now with no luck. We have been to every doctor out there; traditional healer and we're being told that we are both fine and that the right time has not come.”
“Is that the reason you cheated?”
“With my family putting a lot of strain on our marriage.” Making her feel like crap has never done anyone good.
“Please don’t tell my wife…”
“Sorry as marriage counselors we are not supposed to take sides and we cannot keep important secrets from your partner.”
He scratches the back of his head in frustration then sighs in exhaustion.
“Ow god,” now that he thinks about it, it really does not make to him understand why he has been cheating all these years.
“I know that your parents want the best for you. All parents who aren’t maniacs or psychopaths want the best for their kids. Their wanting the best for their kids, however, does not mean that those kids get the best. As a matter of fact, there are more kids in this world who suffer in their lives, doing things they hate or staying in bad marriages - because their parents actualized their perfect plan for those kids. Because they executed like never before. Because they did better than in their own lives.”
“I have eight-month-old, another one on the way and another back in Durban who is three months.”
“Does your wife know all about this?”
“She only knows the one that we are living with.”
He responds running out of breath. Nomusa is in Durban, she was just a complete one-night stand that made his life upside down even more. He got a call a month back and was told that the girl had given birth to another baby girl. He has been feeling like crap for the past days. Whenever he looks at Nozimanag he feels his stomach turn to the worst fear ever.
“I think that is it for today. We will continue again tomorrow at the same time. I will get to see your wife separately as well.” He is being asked to fill in some forms for only God knows what!
“Just advice that I can provide you with. You to be cheated on can also feel like a new birth. Like liberation. Like waking up after a long night. It may help you reconnect with people you lost touch with. It may help you go back to your hobbies which you gave up. It may help you to pay more attention to your parents. When bedding another woman, think about your wife's tears or think of her being bed by another man.”
