SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 49
BAGQIBILE
The way Thabo spoils me. I am afraid on behalf of myself that I will mess along the way. I don't trust myself that much. As much as I am trying not to think about everything, I have put myself through - I fail. Dismally. I spray my seductive perfume. I know he loves it when I smell this type of way. He has never failed to complement me. I lock the one-bedroom...
“Thank you for taking me out today.” I say the minute after entering the car. I am sure it went for a quick wash. It smells so fresh and looks so clean. We will be sending Sizili to her father's just for the day. Probably fetch her tomorrow. I want to have some quality time alone. Maybe even get one stroke. I find myself biting my lower lip. I wish to see him naked.
“No problem.” Thabo smiles and starts the car. I direct him to where Simphiwe lives.
“I love this neighborhood.” He has been complementing nonstop, making me think twice. I would also have loved to live in this area. Peaceful and quiet. The neighbors don’t care about one's business. He parks outside the gate.
“I will be right back.” I step out of the car with Sizile following me behind. I have brought her overnight bag just in case I come back late or possibly don’t even come back. I am on a mission to taste something new after a long time. I know her father won't mind leaving Sizile behind. I knock on the door and a beautiful girl opens. She is shorter than me.
“Is Simphiwe around?” I ask. The girl opens the door wide. I let myself in and freeze on the spot when I see his wife and two babies wrapped in blue blankets. I clear my throat and they both turn to look at me. What do I do great? Or just walk out? This is the most awkward moment ever.
“Bagqibile.” He sounds shocked to see me. I look at his nervous face. I frown. I don’t know why he is shocked to see me because I come here all the time to drop Sizi off. He stands up with the baby in his arms.
“I came with Sizile to leave her by.” I say. I don’t know why I am suddenly emotional. I see him swallow. Is he feeling what I am feeling. Simphiwe is not good at expressing his feelings. That is one thing I know about him.
“Ow. Great. Sizi, come meet your baby brothers.” Now his smile is all out.
“Brothers?” I am so shocked. I though Simphiwe’s sperms only get to produce a set of girls.
“Yes, my wife gave birth to twins.” My throat dries instantly. Some people were born lucky. God seems to favor them when some of us seem to be fighting to have what is ours. Even if it's not yours but you continue to fight until it becomes yours.
“Congratulations I guess.” I am out for words. I regret not calling first. I thought that maybe the wife was still at the hospital I don’t know. Part of me was happy that he was suffering from the beginning, but I got to ease my heart and forgive him. He is the father of my child after all. I cannot hate him forever.
“When am I meeting the man that makes you glow this much?” he asks. In a normal day I would have blushed and smiled ear to ear but today I am just down. My eyes are still stuck on the two kids. “Bagqibile!” He calls my name firmly.
“Sorry, you were saying?” I am saved by my ringing phone. I rush out of the house feeling embarrassed. How does Simphiwe still have this effect on me, that just makes me weak and senile. I stand by the door taking a deep breath. What would have happened if I gave him a male child? Would he have married me in the future? Would he have treated me better? I want to ask him how he felt when I gave birth to a female child. I feel tears burning in my eyes. Now I am an emotional rack. Didn’t my heart move on? Why am I holding back so much?
“Are you okay?” Thabo startles me. I didn’t notice him stepping out of the car. I take a deep breath and turn to face him. I hate how I feel right now.
“I am fine. Just feeling sad.”
“Why? Did he do something to you?” He asks.
“No, I just saw newborn kids and felt emotional. Sizi had it rough growing up. So, all of that brought back some painful memories.” I lie. I don’t want him finding out that I am emotional because Simphiwe has a bundle of male kids. Something that I failed to give him.
“If I were to give a female child again. Would you stay with me or leave me?” I slap my lips into thin line shutting myself up. I shouldn't have said that!
“Where is that coming from?”
“Forget I said anything.” I get in the car. I now regret asking him that question. What has gotten over me? I agree Simphiwe knows how to just spin my life around with him hurting me in the process. I have just spoiled our fun before it even began. He takes a glance at me and says nothing. I hate how he is looking at me. His eyes are filled with doubt.
“Do you still want this, or should I take you to your house?” I look at him. Is this a respectful way of turning down our outing? I know I am a mood sucker. But he shouldn’t let one mistake ruin our plans. I am shocked. Why would he just cancel at the last minute?
“Are you having second thoughts of us going out?” I ask him.
“Looks like you are no longer here, and your mood has just died.” Well, he is right about that maybe I took things out of proportion. I am just being a cry baby. Simphiwe don’t even think of me why would I ruin my life like this. I swear he married me in the underworld. That is why can't just forget about him that easily. How do I erase him from my heart without sounding disrespectful or hurtful towards him?
“I will be fine.” I snap.
“You know what. I think it's best if I take you back. Something just came up.” Indeed, he makes U-turn driving straight to the room I am renting. I look at him in disbelief. Is he kidding me right now? What did I do to deserve this? So, this is how he is going to behave every time we have a mere argument!
“Why are you taking me back? I did not agree to it.” I say thinking he would pull over at the side of the road and talk to me. But the man just ignores me like I do not exist. Simphiwe managed to ruin yet another date for me while he is home playing happy family with his wife. I feel my heart right in anger.
“You shouldn't have agreed to go out with me if you knew I was just a second option, and your heart still belongs to your baby daddy.” He snaps.
“Are seriously brining that up now?”
“Call me once you are ready to have a serious adult time with me. Once you are sure that you are committed to be with me, and you are ready to move on.” He says. He leans over and I think he going to give me a perk on my lips, but the man just opens the door for me. Wow, so he is even chasing me out of his car as well.
“You jerk!” I step out of the car and close the door harshly.
“Says someone who doesn’t know how to let go.”
“At least I don’t have a dead wife!” I shout and bite my tongue once I have realized what I've said. “I didn’t mean...” The car is long gone leaving a trail of dust behind. I am left with pain and regret. I shouldn’t have said that no matter how mad I was. I fish for my keys in my handbag and find them. I open the door and throw myself on the bed. I need to talk to Simphiwe. I want to ask him a lot of questions. He is not picking up his phone and that annoys me. He is very good at pretending that I don’t exist in his world.
“Did you forget something?” That is the first thing he asks over the phone, like really?
“Simphiwe. If I had given you a male child. Would you have considered marrying me. Making me your second wife?” I ask. My ears are itchy to hear a response from him. He is just silent. “Aren't you going to respond?” I ask.
“Why are you doing this to yourself? I thought we moved past it.” That is not the response I was hoping for. And for your information you are the one who moved on past it not me.
“I just want to know. Seems like you are happier now that you know have male kids. I can still give you another male child.” I sound desperate. But I cannot help myself.
“Bagqibile. I am going to say this for the last time, and I don’t care If I get to hurt your feelings in the process. I never loved you. I was just having some issues in my marriage, and you were an easy target because you agreed to everything. I wouldn’t have let you abort my child. Children were something that were missing in my marriage. Now I know better. God blessed me with dozens of them, and I am beyond grateful. Having male kids came as a bonus and will not change anything. Can you please try and forget about the fling that we had and focus on yourself. Where is my baby mama that was on skyrocket days ago?”
“You are not even mad that another man is taking me out?” I scoff.
“No, I am happy for you. Genuinely happy.”
“Can I just have a last chance to prove myself to you. I am failing here. I try so hard to move on, but it seems not to be working out for me.” I sniff. I am hurting. I hear him take a deep sigh.
“Can I have you boyfriends' number?”
I frown. “What are going to do with it?” I am pouring my heart out and he has the nerve to ask me about my boyfriend's number. Thabo is not even my boyfriend but someone who keeps on taking me out on dates. I've never heard a love language from him. What I can say is he treats me more like a sister and that is something I don’t want.
“It's regarding business.” He responds.
“Okay will send it.” I don’t know why I am choosing to trust him. Just like that he drops the line on me without even waiting for me to finish talking. I will forever be the second best in Simphiwe! I send the bloody numbers and wait for him.
