Magnetic - JJ Maybank

13 - The truth

WAKING UP NEXT to JJ was certainly one of my top 3 feelings. I opened my eyes and found that I'd crawled into JJ's arms. Oh, that smell. The first thing that came to my mind was what had happened last night. It was great. God, every time we got into this bed, something had to happen. I looked up at his face and saw that he was smiling while he was still asleep.

He was happy, but it was wrong.

He'd chosen the others, not me. This proved that they were more important to him than me. I didn't blame him for that, but for stretching the rubber band too much.

Last night would be a big reason for him to lose the Pogues again. To collect my thoughts, I disengaged from JJ's arms and lay on my back, which woke him up because he was doing the same thing.

I knew he was thinking about it too.

Don't tell me I have to choose again. I can't. Last night we tried and failed, which shows that we clearly can't be together. I don't want to lose any of them.

An awkwardness filled the room as we both stared at the ceiling without saying anything. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew which choice was the right one. I could no longer be just a body.

We both knew that the Pogues would be very angry if they found out. We'd to make sure it was okay.

"Technically, we didn't have sex..." I affirmed, trying to cheer us up.

"Yeah, you're right." JJ agreed. He had made his choice, and I wasn't the answer.

"We didn't do anything wrong," I assured him.

"We probably would have done the same thing on our own anyway," he understood what I was trying to say.

"Exactly."

Fake it 'till you make it, they say.

---

"Maya, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sarah came over to my locker at lunch. She wasn't there this AM, but I didn't ask her why. We hadn't really talked since the incident. I'd just gotten to school and wasn't ready for this.

"Um, yeah. Sure." I smiled, grabbing some books. She cracked her knuckles and leaned against a locker. Sarah looked nervous, which was unusual...

"Did you know the person who, um... attacked you?" she finally asked. I was ready for anything but that. In my mind, this topic was out of touch. I figured she wouldn't rub it in for a long time.

Besides, we were at school.

I didn't think I was ready to talk about it, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. JJ was the only person who knew, and that was already too much. It wasn't something you should brag about. It's hard to even think about it.

"No, I don't think so..." I lied. I'd never lied to my sister before. She'd understand, right? Sarah nodded slowly, not looking at me.

"Right, um... I have to get to class, but I'll see you tonight!"

The rest of the day was kind of boring. I had geography and JJ tried to talk to me but he kind of held back. The next class was boring and I ate alone on the soccer field as usual. In art, JJ hung out with the pogues and I was happy for him.

Then the bell rang. I walked out of the school and found Ward's car. I smiled at him before I felt a hand grab my wrist.

The person turned me around, and I was surprised to see the blonde looking at me happily.