Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

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Bucky's pov:
Most of the people are down training so no one sees when I carry Peter to the med bay. I don't find Bruce there, he's probably training as well. I immediately text him 'Hey Bruce, could you come down to the med? Peter really needs some help.' When he arrives I stop him at the entrance and tell him what had happened, to get him ready for what he's going to see next. And then I let him do whatever he needs to do.

Peter's pov:
I see Bruce come into the room with a worried expression. He immediately starts to clean my arms and stop the bleeding. "This will disinfect your wounds. It'll hurt I'm sorry, but I have to clean them." I just nod. I don't even look at what Bruce does. I had my scars cleaned like this, once. I know it'll hurt really bad now. I feel Bruce's hand hold down my left arm so I can't move it. I see Bucky kneeling next to me so I face him. "I'm here Pete." he holds his hand out, so I take it. "Okay, 3..2..1," Bruce says and I close my eyes.

I feel the cloth touching my arm and then the almost unbearable sting and pain. I wanna scream, it hurts so much. But I just hiss and I feel every muscle tighten up in my body. I squeeze Bucky's hand as hard as I can. "He's strong," Bucky says with a small smile looking at Bruce. Then I feel Bruce lift the cloth. It still stings but a little relief hits me. But then I feel it again and I was not prepared. "Oww...fuck," I whisper. My hand moves a little, but Bruce's grip is strong and tight. "It's okay Peter. We're almost done." Bruce says. When he removes it again, I notice I'm almost panting. I haven't even taken a breath while he had the cloth on my arm. "Breathe kiddo, breathe," Bucky says as he notices how breathless I am. "Okay Pete, these definitely need stitches. That won't be pleasant either but when it's done you'll feel better I promise." He starts doing them but they definitely don't feel as bad as the disinfectant. To be honest I don't even feel it. I feel scared, exhausted, and sad. And one part of me is numb, trying to switch my feelings off to protect myself. Bruce bandages my arm and wraps it around tight to make sure it's not bleeding through. "Can... can I go?" I ask with a trembling voice very close to crying. I'm ashamed but that's all I could squeeze out of myself without crying. I should've at least said a thank you or a sorry. "Yes. We'll talk later," Bucky says.

Bucky's pov:
When Peter had gone up to his room, Bruce asks me, "Do you think it was... do you think it was something way worse than just self-harm?" "I hope not," I say. "Bucky... it really looked like that..." he sighs before continuing, it clearly is hard for him to say it because he gets all choked up. "He cut a vein... that's why it was bleeding so bad." I didn't even realize this. A wave of shock hits me as the information reaches my brain. He really tried to? Would he do that? Was this really? "Oh god... no...no he wouldn't... right?" I say my thoughts out loud. We stay silent for a while. "Thank you, Bruce." Before I leave Bruce there I say, "I have to talk to him." I go up to Peter's room. I know he has to rest and get a good cry but I have to know if he plans something worse. I knock. No one answers. I knock again, "it's Bucky," I say. No answer. I guess he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. I try to open the door but of course, it's locked. Since I can't get in there or talk to him, I go to my room instead.

I think about what could've he used for cutting. Pictures flash before my eyes. Of him bleeding and panicking. I remember it now. He did it with a blade. I stand up and look under my bed. I'm relieved to find that box in there. I open it. It has the blades in it. He could get one out of it, but maybe he bought new ones. I have to take them away again because he's getting worse. Now that I started I can't stop thinking about what I just saw there. I could've noticed. I could've stopped him before. Was he trying to kill himself? Is it my fault? Why isn't he talking to me? It is my fault. What would've happened if he didn't call me? What would've happened if I didn't get there soon enough? The thought of him killing himself and doing this to himself makes me tear up. I can't cry now, it's not even noon... I could cry if it would be night cause then no one would see it. The team can't see me cry, they already have but not much and they don't need to know what happened with Peter. I try holding it back, still overthinking lots. I go down, just to show the others that I'm good and Peter's okay too if they ask. Also, I want to see if Bruce is okay. I go to the living room, not many people are there but I see Bruce there. He's zoned out, probably doing the same as I do, overthinking. I decide to go back to my room, knowing my mask might slip soon. I grab a glass of water and head upstairs. "Hey Buck, are you okay? What was with Peter?" a voice asks from behind me, a voice that I know so well. "I'm good. Peter is okay now, he just needed someone to talk to..." I manage to keep my voice steady but the cry and overthinking I swallowed to look normal are coming back...shit. My eyes water up, I know he sees it. I turn around and quickly go back to my room. As Steve doesn't see my face anymore, tears flow down my face. I bring up a hand to cover my mouth to be as silent as I can be while rushing to my room. I lock my door and go to my bathroom immediately. I take out two full bottles of pills that I bought a few days ago. I sit down on the ground, in the corner. I hug my knees while crying. I don't know when was the last time I cried like this badly. I pop the bottles open and shove a bunch in my mouth. I drink half of the glass I just brought up. I take more and more until I'm dizzy. I'm almost passed out when I finally can stop crying. I took about half of both bottles. I know people from the team will search for me but I don't care anymore. I needed to do this, my thoughts were unbearably loud. My door is locked, I'm not crying anymore and I will pass out in a matter of seconds. I'm okay now.

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A/N
15k reads? Oh my god guys. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I never thought so many people would read this.<33