╔══•XLVII•══╗

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Bucky's pov:
I tried to sleep after returning to my room but knew this would happen. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep after what happened that day. I don't want to relapse again but the urge to take a bunch of pills and knock myself out is really tempting. It was a very hard day today and I'm just tired of it. I can't sleep and it's getting annoying and the thoughts are even more tiring on top of everything. "For fuck's sake, I saw a kid almost bleeding to death and jumping off a roof. They'll understand," I whisper to myself and get out of bed to go to my bathroom. I switch the light on and squint to the harsh light and groan as it feels like my head is ripping in half. First, I'm not planning to take too much, just to help me sleep, but as I expected, the voices in my head won and I took almost everything I had. I even found some Xanax in the back of my drawer. I really took a lot because, after this attempt, I had the worst thoughts. Also, I haven't talked about my attempt for such a long time, I didn't think it would be this hard. Overall, I knocked myself out like never before. I just hope no one finds me this ugly and that I'll wake up eventually.

Steve's pov:
I wake up suddenly to Tony yelling my name. "Steve, Steve! Bucky's not okay, hello!" My eyes pop open as I hear Buck's name. I immediately think of the pills. I know Peter's accident really took a toll on him. This can't be happening, I can't lose him again. I rush to his room but don't find him there. I look around confused. "Tony?" I shout to him. "I'm here, he's here." I hear his voice from outside. What is he doing out? I ran to Tony. "Damn it..." I whisper as I realize what's happening. I immediately start running back to the building, up the stairs, until I reach the rooftop. "Buck," I say calmly. "Come back, please." I'm talking calmly but my heart is racing and I'm fighting the panic inside of me. "No," he says as he's sitting over the edge, barely being able to even speak. "Bucky... what did you do?" "Nothin', I'm good. I'm soo relaxed," his words flow together and he's blinking slowly, barely awake. "What did you take?" I ask, fighting my tears back. "Uhh... these, I guess." He takes a bunch of medicine out of his pocket and puts it down in front of me with his shaking hands. "It's... how much did you take from this?" I ask concerned. "Most of it," he's laughing. "These are fucking drugs, Bucky! Oh my god, how are you even conscious right now?" I go closer to him to pull him back from the edge, but he turns serious as I move. "Don't," he says standing up, almost falling down from being dizzy. "Let me help you, please, Bucky," my voice is breaking. "Don't do anything stupid till I get back..." Bucky says in tears and allows his legs to give up on him and faints. I dash after him and I see him falling down. When he reaches the bottom I hear a loud thud.

I open my eyes and sit up as fast as I can. I find myself in my own bed, sweating and crying. I look around and I see my cup on the ground as it rolls around in circles. I must've pushed it down. I put the pieces together, it was the thud I heard in my dream and then woke up to. Thank god it was just a dream... or was it? I get myself together, stop my panic, and change my sweaty pajamas. I get up and go along the hallway to check on Bucky. I open into his room as quietly as I can to see if he's okay. I found the light on in his bathroom and he blacked out. His head is thrown back, seemingly sleeping, but why would he sleep while sitting in front of his bed? I shake him. "Bucky, wake up!" I look around his room and bathroom. I find the pills in his bed and on the floor. I give up, waking him up, he won't I just know. I check his pulse just to make sure he's okay. I'm relieved to find a pulse. He's going to be okay. He's fine. He's here, he didn't jump. I say to myself. Taking his pills away crosses my mind, but I know he would just go and buy more, it's unnecessary. I pulled him up on his bed so he wouldn't sleep sitting. Also, I put things back in their place and put all of his pills on the table, then I turn the lamp off and close his door, and go back to my room. I'm really tired but I'm scared I'll have a dream like before. I struggle and think about it for hours, but eventually, I drift off to sleep.

Just the typical sad marvel thing /PeterWhere stories live. Discover now