Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

╔══•LIV•══╗

Peter's pov:
I didn't sleep even a bit. Maximum of two hours. And my eyes hurt. Yesterday I cried and was throwing up so much. I knew, what I ate before didn't really come out, but I still tried as soon as I got back to my room. And I still feel so sick and lightheaded after yesterday's faint. I made fresh scars too, not like I didn't make new ones everyday since my attempt. So I'm running out of space on my arm now. I need a new part to self-harm on. But just for a little while. With my super healing, my scars on my arm will heal in a few days. Maybe I could do it on my stomach or thighs. I'm thinking as I'm standing in my bathroom washing my one night, fresh scars with water. It's getting deeper and deeper each time I cut. Yesterday it didn't bleed for at least a minute. It was just white. I know that one will leave a life long scar. I even thought of going down to Bruce because I wasn't sure if it needed stitches. But I decided not to after all and kept it to myself.

I put a bandaid on the very deep ones and then sat back to bed. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as it usually does. A few hours later I hear a knock. For some reason I don't ask who it is, I just open my door. It's Bucky. I'm surprised at first, he was the last person I expected. He didn't try to talk to me since. But as soon as I realize who it is I close the door on him. A few seconds later I hear his voice. "Peter. Please..." I don't want to talk to him. And I don't. I don't say anything. As he keeps saying my name and knocking, I sigh and ask back, "What do you want?" "To talk," he says. I pause for a second thinking through if I wanna be this mean but I decide to say it either. He said mean things to me too, "I don't. Go away." I'm not sure if he stayed silent or he actually went away. But to be honest, I don't care. A few minutes later I hear footsteps, probably him walking away. I continue playing on my phone like I did, before he came here. It's so sad that I need a constant distraction all times if I don't want to cry uncontrollably. Usually it's either my phone and music or tv. Sometimes sleep if I can sleep in.

Bucky's pov:
Peter has been doing this for so long. He needs someone to open up to. He needs help. And I tried talking to him, I tried to ask him about it. He just won't talk to me. But I know he needs someone to be there for him now. We can't leave him like this and let him suffer. When I first brought Peter here I promised Steve and Tony I'll make this decision if I have to. And I missed that time last time and I'm not letting Peter get back to that bad point now. I unlock my phone and open my contacts. I search for my therapist's number. I press call and lift the phone to my ear. "Hi, Bucky. You never call. Is everything okay?" a voice asks in a worried tone. "Hey, Dr. Raynor." I sigh. "I'm not calling about myself now... I need you for one of my other super-powered friends," I say. "Oh really? What's the matter?" she asks. "To put it shortly, his parents, aunt and uncle died. His stepdad was abusive and he has depression, eating disorder and probably anxiety and panic attack problems. He also self harms and attempted suicide." I say. I just realize how much is it just saying out loud. This kid has been through a lot. "Oh, he's also a superhero and he's 16..." "Wow," that's all Dr. Raynor says. "He's... wow I'm not surprised he's not good mentally with all this. When do I go there?" "Well here's the thing. He doesn't talk to us, or anyone. But I hoped you'd make him talk. So whenever you have free time." "Hmm, alright as I see it here I'm free tomorrow at 11am, how about that?" "Oh that's perfect," I reply and note it to myself. I might try and talk with Peter about it again. "Alright then, see you tomorrow," she says. "Yes... Hey doc..." she waits, not saying anything. "we could make an appointment too, I'm... I think I-I need one," I say nervously. "Yes sure. We'll figure it out tomorrow okay?" "Okay," I say. "Take care til then. Bye Bucky," "Bye doc," and I hang up. I sigh. I know I need to talk to someone. Tony was right. This whole taking pills thing is going way too far now.

[time skip - next day]

Peter's pov:
Why does someone always knock on my door? I think as I open it frustrated. And why is it always Bucky now?? I'm about to close it again but I see someone else standing by Bucky. I look confused at them a little and then the woman holds her hand out for me to shake it. "Hi. I'm Dr. Raynor," she says while shaking my hand. "Peter Parker, miss," I shake her hand looking even more confused now. Is Bucky dating a doctor now? Why is she here? I look at Bucky with a questioning expression. "I tried to talk to you about her yesterday but you closed the door on me," he says and pushes her into my messy room. "Uhm sorry... I don't- I don't know why he just did that... are you... are you two like?" I attempt to ask. "Oh no. God no," she laughs. "Let's start this conversation again. Hello Peter. I'm the therapist of James Buchanan Barnes," she holds her hand out but I'm too shocked to take it. My eyes widen. His therapist? He has a therapist? And why is she here?