Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

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Tony's pov:
I wake up on the couch in the living room. I remember I wanted to wait until Peter comes home but then I fell asleep. I quietly go up to his room to check on him. I open his door the slightest bit, just enough for me to look in there with one eye. He's not there. He's not home. I panic. I have to find him. I knock on Bucky's door and go inside. "What?" He asks annoyed because I just woke him up. "Peter didn't come home." "WHAT?" This makes him wake up for sure cause he sits up and looks at me worried. "Wh-How? Where is he?" He asks. "IF I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE HERE!?" Bucky doesn't say anything but I see that he's thinking over all the places Peter could be. "If he went to Mays workplace, he maybe went home with her... that's the best option," he says. "the worst is..." he doesn't say it but I know what he means. "That can't be. No, he wouldn't... right?" I say my thoughts out loud. "I don't know, Tony," Bucky says concerned.

Bucky's pov:
"I'll go and check some places, you go to May's workplace and house." Tony nods and then he leaves. I think through where he could be. I check on the roof and all of the bathrooms but nothing. I go to his room too. I check if he left any signs or has anything suspicious in his room. I look into his bags and bathroom. In his bags, I find a box. It looks so familiar. Then a picture flashes into my mind, is it his box of blades? But I took that away. Is this a new one?

I rush to my room and check my bathroom cabinet. It's not there, he stole it. And used it probably. At least he didn't take it with himself so he can't do anything with that. I take his box to my room and put it under my bed, a new place where he maybe wouldn't find it. Then I go out and go around in the city, looking upwards because he might be swinging or sitting on a rooftop. I don't see him anywhere. My mind keeps telling me he did it. He jumped. He did something to himself and... died. "No no no. He didn't do anything." I keep telling to myself.

After several hours I go back to the compound. Tony arrives not so long after too. I'm sitting on the couch when he steps inside. He looks at me worried, I just shake my head no to say that I didn't find him. He sits down as well next to me saying, "I didn't find him either." "Who are we searching for exactly?" Bruce asks confused. "Peter didn't come home yesterday," I say devastated. "WHAT?" the whole team says in chorus. "Why didn't you tell us? We can help. Come on guys we have to find him!" Steve says.

Peter pov:
I stayed a few more minutes at the hospital. Maybe a little more than a few minutes. Several hours. I was talking to May. I didn't know if she could hear me but I told her that I was Spider-Man. I felt like she has to know about it even if she doesn't wake up. I also cried a ton. I don't think I've ever cried this much a day.

Before I left I asked a nurse to call me immediately if she woke up. She wrote up my phone number and I left to go to the compound. My head was filled with thoughts, will she wake up, what will the team say? How will I even talk about it? I don't want to humiliate myself.

Bucky's pov:
An hour later he still didn't come back. We're worried sick and I'm starting to believe what the voice in my head says. He did something to himself. I even consider saying it out loud but I decide to not say it yet. The voices are not that bad at least. I took some pills already but I know I'll have to take more tonight. It's been a while since we started looking for him, it's already past noon. Everyone came home from the team but no one found him. We're just sitting in silence, thinking about where he could be or what happened to him. Suddenly I hear something rattling from the front door. The door opens and reveals a boy with a red hoodie, looking down at the ground. We look at him, too stunned to speak. Finally, Steve speaks up, "Peter, oh my god! Where were you?" He doesn't speak, just walks towards his room still looking down. Something's wrong. "Peter," I say to him so he looks up. He looks me straight in the eye, something's really not okay, I can see the pain in them. Which is bad because he can hide his feelings very well. For a moment I see something else in his eyes. Grief? And hate? He looks away as he starts tearing up and goes to his room.

"Something very bad happened. Let him have some time and then we'll talk to him," I say as he closes the door of his bedroom. Tony and Nat nod. "At least he's okay and he's home and safe," Steve says. Then everyone goes to bed relieved a little, knowing Peter came home.

Peter's pov:
I go up to my room after being unable to say anything to the team. I know I've been gone but no one even missed me I'm sure. I keep overthinking what they might think about me now. The whole team was there, they must think I'm such an attention seeker. I keep thinking about May too. It's all my fault. Why didn't I protect her? I did this to her. I really need those blades now. Even though I know, I feel, that Bucky will talk to me about this tomorrow but I have to use the blades. I dig into the bottom of my bag but I can't seem to find it. I take everything out of it but it's not there. I'm panicking at this point. Did I leave it somewhere? Did I leave it at a random bathroom and then anyone could find it? Fuck fuck fuck. Where is it?? This really needed to happen now, on top of everything else. I'm such an idiot. My stupid ass had to lose them. Where are they?? I can't do this today, I start crying. I know I will panic about this for a while. I still, even more, have to self-harm in some kind of way. I use my already used technique. I scratch my arm til the cuts open up and bleed. I even pushed my nails a little further into my opened cuts, causing them to bleed more. Relieve and tiredness hits me as soon as I feel the sting and see the bright red. I bandage it up and go to bed.