The promised neverland oneshots + more

stranger things quotes as i watched it today so yea

murray: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.

robin: Hello, I'm robin. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

steve: *sees someone doing something stupid*
steve: What an idiot.
steve: *realizes it's dustin*
steve: Wait, that's MY idiot!

mike: Hey, max. Why did the chicken cross the road?
max: To get to the other side?
mike: You were supposed to say "I dunno, why?"
max: Uh... fine. I don't know. Why did it cross the road?
mike: To get to the idiot's house.
max: ...Ok?
lucas: Hey, max. Knock knock.
max: No.
lucas: You were supposed to say "who's there?"
max: Fine... let's get this over with. Who's there?
lucas: The chicken.
max:
lucas:
mike:
max: Listen here you little shits-

lucas: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that?
will: Uh, like what?
lucas: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs.
lucas: Uh, this is what I look like.
lucas:
will: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!
lucas: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones.
hopper: I wanna have a cowboy hat!
will: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them*
dustin: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too!
will: You can't just take hopper's hat idea, dustin! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing!
dustin: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!
eleven: Put dustin on one of those stupid baby tricycles.
dustin: NO!!
will: Tricycle, done. *draws it* mum, want anything?
eleven, making finger guns: Pew pew.
will: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, mum.
joyce, making finger guns: Pew pew.
will: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

arglye: When life gives you lemonades, make lemons! Life robin be all like "whaAttT?"
jonathan: Life lessons that schools can't teach you.

dustin: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
will: Can't relate.
eleven: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
steve, with dustin and lucas behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes...three.
steve: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
steve: mike FUCKING FELL OFF!

will: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.
robin:
robin: I like you.

dustin: *makes will a cup of tea but puts salt in it*
will: *sips tea*
dustin:
will: *finishes tea*
dustin: Didn't it taste bad?
will: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
dustin, tearing up: Oh, okay.

steve: Damn, the power went out.
eddie: Don't worry, I got this.
eddie: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
steve: What-?
eddoe: I swallowed a glow stick!
steve, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
eddie: i was high... and though i could use it for late nigh DnD

argyle, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??
argyle, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it's the LAW!

eddie: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what argyle will and will not eat.
dustin: Grass? Yes!
eddie: Moss? Yes!!
dustin: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
eddie: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
dustin: Worms? Sometimes!
eddie: Rocks? Usually nah.
dustin: Twigs? Usually!
eddie: robin's cooking? Inconclusive!
erica: How did you... test this?
eddie: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.
erica: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
robin: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

will: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

steve: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I'm somehow always feeling both simultaneously.
dustin:  your welcome?

mike: How would you like to live forever?
will: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.

jonathan: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?
argyle: Technically a mix of green and blue?
jonathan: So blurple.
argyle: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.
jonathan: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?
argyle: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

argyle: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring hopper just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring hopper catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass hopper start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring hopper boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass hopper shatter. Please take my word on this.
mike: What did you do argyle?
argyle: a Mistake.

will: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.

steve: I want to kiss you.
robin, not paying attention: What?
steve: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

eleven: If I say I love you, will you say it back?
mike: Yes.
eleven: I love you.
mike: It back.
*Later*
joyce: Why is eleven crying face-down on the floor?

*hopper and joyce are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
joyce: oh my god, hopper, backwards!
hopper: Really, joyce? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

nancy: How would you like your pancakes?
steve: Plain.
robin: With sprinkles!
dustin: Chocolate chips.
eddie: Potatoes.
*steve, dustin, and robin look at eddie*
eddie: What? They're good.

nancy: How high are you?
eddie: Mm, I don't know how to say it in feet.
steve: No, they're asking what drugs are you on.
eddie: Oh, antidepressants, why?

max: Are you laughing at that video of eddie and steve fighting?
dustin: No.
dustin: I'm laughing at the comments.

lucas: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
max: And you came to me?

joyce: Did you buy eggs like I asked?
jonathan: Even better!
joyce: What the fuck did you-
jonathan: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

dustin: What are you getting max for the holidays?
lucas: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.
erica: I'm getting max a divorce lawyer.

will, digging their grave: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?