The Bond Between Us

fifty three

Warnings: angst, depression, trauma, torture, disassociation, fertility issues

~~~

Now that the adrenaline from the escape from the Fortress, getting Leia home, marrying, and stopping by the Lars' farm had worn off, Obi-Wan could see what the years of torture had truly done to you. You were gripping his hand tighter than Obi-Wan had ever felt you grip before. You were right against his side, almost like you were hoping to melt into him. With each loud noise or sudden movement anyone made, you were cowering behind Obi-Wan. Your signature was tightly wrapped around his own, begging for his safety and comfort despite how hard you tried to not seem like this was all affecting you so much.

"Sorry," you mumbled, tearing up, after the latest scare.

"Little star, please don't apologize," Obi-Wan said, stopping the two of you in an empty space between buildings. He wanted to give you some time and space to just feel him, away from the townspeople.

"But I—"

"I really do not want to hear another apology come from your mouth. Especially about your reactions. Understood?" You timidly nodded. "Let's get the last few items we absolutely need and then we will go back to the canyon. I can come back and get everything else another time."

You glanced around the bustling streets. You tried to press down the growing anxieties but just couldn't. Swallowing, you nodded. Obi-Wan pressed out a smile for you before giving your lips a tender kiss.

"I love you." His words were firm, almost like he believed you had forgotten his feelings towards you.

"I love you," you repeated.

~~~

Nights seemed to not be any easier on you. Your mind would take you to someplace that you would never willingly tell Obi-Wan. He was struggling with the fact that he was feeling so helpless and that you wouldn't open up about anything that happened. Obi-Wan knew that none of what happened to you was good and that he would have a hard time with it himself, but he wanted to do his part—as a husband—to share that burden.

During the day, when it was just the two of you working together to build your future home, you would act like nothing was wrong. Though Obi-Wan could see it in your eyes and would try to gently bring it up, you would always just shake your head and tell him that it will pass.

You had not gone into town since that first time. Obi-Wan was always nervous to leave you alone, but you promised you could handle yourself. If you weren't working on what you could of the house, you were meditating; trying to work through all the terrible memories.

It had been a few weeks since you arrived in the canyon before you finally started opening up. It happened one night. You were screaming like you were in pain, though you were asleep. The sudden scream had woken up Obi-Wan from where he was sleeping next to you. He quickly sat up and moved closer to you.

"Little star!" He called out over your screams. You had begun thrashing around as well. "Wake up, darling!"

You kept panicking. Obi-Wan decided to straddle you. His knees were placed on either side of your waist while his hands came up to grip your wrists and keep them against the mat beside your head. You screamed against as you tried to free yourself from his grip.

"Come on, little star," Obi-Wan pled, tears welled up in his eyes as he struggled to wake you and could feel your pain in the Force around the two of you. "Please, wake up. You're safe. You're with me. Just wake up, darling, please."

One of his tears escaped his eye and fell down to your cheek. Your eyes snapped open, frantically looking around. Your panic worsened when you realized you were being held down.