Justice or Destiny

Part_39

Sitting alone in my room I was looking out of the window which was on the left side of my bed. I had been sitting here for the last two hours, thinking and just thinking. Every time I closed my eyes, all the events from last few days came bursting through my head, and every time gasping for air I sat bolted upright.

Two days had passed since that horrible night when before leaving Elina told many terrible truths, I was unaware about. I didn't go out of this room and Manik didn't come into this room as well. Aanya remained besides me all the time. She never left me alone for a single second. She ate in the room and tried hard to make me eat forcefully also. Each morsel made me sick but I tried to eat enough for being alive.

That night when I opened my eyes, whole family was around me except Manik. Later Aanya told me that I had severe panic attack. Since that night whole family had been surprisingly quiet. No one asked me a single thing about whatever I said to manik. Not even Dadi jan, who I'm sure listened our whole argument. And Aanya, she showed the only emotion was the SORRY for everything happened to me. I feel like she wants to tell me so many things but after seeing my health condition she was avoiding to approach this topic yet.

The only thing beside eating and breathing I did, was sitting in the bathroom for long time while crying pathetically my heart out. I'm sure he must have solid reason for giving me such endless pain and unstoppable tears. But he was no where to be seen.

Sometimes sitting at the balcony, I felt his burning gaze at me. Like standing in dark room, from behind the glass of his window he was staring at me. Sometimes when door was opened and curtains of his room fluttering with soft breeze, I could feel his alluring scent in the air, like he was just around me but I couldn't see him. He was totally ignoring me, like a scared child. Who was hiding from facing deadly ghosts in the darkness. I know, I'm stupid. I myself pushed him away and when he finally obeyed me, why my eyes looking for him obsessively.

Pushing blanket off of me, I stood up over my feet. My head still feels light and quite dizzy. It still hurts when I think about everything I came to know that night but I have to gather myself. But I have to talk to Manik.

Walking towards the closet I pulled one black dress out. Today I wanted to wear something dark, same like my mood and fate. Entering into bathroom I started getting fresh. Settling the temperature of the water I had a long shower. After drying myself I changed and brushed my hairs. Looking at me in the wall sized mirror I couldn't even recognise my own-self. Dark circles under my eyes, dull pale complexion and loss of weight, I was looking more like a zombie than being a normal human being. I couldn't sleep a bit at these past few nights.

"Wao, looking so fresh and beautiful....!" very familiar and soft voice touched my ears and I turned my head to find Aanya standing few steps behind me. As usual she was truly looking good and in really positive mood. I still didn't talk to her as well because somewhere she also performed as Elina and Manik's secret sever. But except that she never made me hurt. Infect whenever I needed someone, I found her always with me. I wasn't angry at her. Not at all. Its just I still can't believe whatever I came to know. We both remained silent for a while and then finally I tried to talk.

"Aanya can I ask you something....?" I asked lowly and she nodded her head in yes. The way her expressions changed from soft ones to nervous, I'm sure she had some idea that what I wanted to know. I was still feeling completely drained so I walked towards my bed and sat over it.

"Elina said that at my engagement night manik went to her, to spend a night with her but you spoiled their night. You brought him back. Then why you all lied to me that, Elina was out of country and she didn't even know about our engagement. ...!" this question had become, the most complicated and painful puzzle of my life. The more I was thinking about it the more I was getting muddled. Aanya silently went towards huge wall sized window and opened it. Fresh salty air of sea, filled the suffocating atmosphere of this room.