Spider-man one-shots

Peter Parker vs Spiderman

>Peter vs Peter, what more could you ask??? also Spideychelle and Pepperony pizza :,D

Peter was gazing at the camera in front of him, with Tony at his side smiling at him with a proud face.
"So Peter! What does it feel like being Tony Stark's intern?" the lady reporter asked,
"ur mom," Peter said with a smirk at the now gaping camera crew
Tony dramatically gasps
"Peter! manners!" Tony dramatically waved his hand,
"Sorry, Mr. Stark." peter said guiltily, making Tony smile
The camera crew and reporter gaped at the duo, confused at what was happening.
"Sorry Ms. Reporter," peter then said, looking sincerely sorry for his actions at the reporter,
"Oh, it's not a problem Tom- I-I mean Peter." The lady reporter assured
"It feels amazing being under Mr. Stark's presence, he had been my hero for years and I can finally breathe the same air as him!" Peter cheerily claimed, smiling at the camera in front of him.
Tony smiled lovingly at the teenager, fixing his gaze back quickly before anyone noticed.
"Alright, next question. What is your opinion on Mr. Stark?" The reporter asked once more while the camera person slowly zoomed in on Peter's face, stopping once he had gotten a good angle.
"If you want the truth? I HONESTLY think that Mr. Stark is an overly dramatic man and a coffee-obsessed rich guy." Peter said with a glare that was taught by no other than his Black Widow aunt. The reporter and camera crew gaped widely, looking at Tony, then back at Peter, then back at Tony, then back at Peter.
Tony glared at his child, as his mouth slowly formed a grin. Peter broke his gaze laughing loudly, failing to try and hold his laugh. Tony chuckled while patting Peter's back, 
"I can't even get mad at him I swear, just look at his eyes! Plus all that he said was true." Tony said through chuckles. The reporter closed her mouth, as the camera crew continued gaping.
"Err okay, so this is a question for Mr. Stark. What do you think of your intern?" the reporter asked, still trying to cover her confusion. 
"If you really want to know? I think of Peter as my son." Tony said with a huge smile, looking at Peter.
Peter gasped dramatically,
"Dad! You weren't supposed to tell the people now, mom planned the gala already" Peter pouted,
Tony smirked, "Well too bad, I told everyone already."
The reporter coughed a bit, trying to break the father-son duo from continuing their chattering before the recording ends.
"Okay! Final question, this is for Peter. Remember, the clock is ticking so answer surely but quickly. What do you think of Spider-man?" The lady reporter asked, actually very curious to know. The cameraman zoomed back the camera so it could capture 3 of them. 
"I think that Spider-man...Is super bad! That guy's super mean! I just really dislike the spider menace." peter said with a straight face, Tony tried his best to hold his confusion.
The lady reported looked at Peter with a "bitch what?" face, deciding to just fucking end the recording or some shit. 
"Alright? Uh, that's the end of it, folks! Be sure to subscribe to Slay channel for more facts about random famous people!" The reporter said before signaling the cameraman to SHUT OFF THE DAMN LIVESTREAM.

"Peter what the fuck?" Tony questioned, with an overly confused face,
"I'm smart >:)," Peter said with an evil smile while walking beside Tony through the Stark tower hallway.
"So explain, why??" Tony asked again
"Cuz if people think I hate Spider-man, then no one will think that I'm Spider-man," Peter said with a smirk
"I mean, wow- that's actually pretty smart, despite how you always do dumb things," Tony said chuckling, 
"I-exquisee me??? I am OBSCENELY BLEMISHED! Oh, father figure how could you?!" Peter said dramatically, with overly dramatic movements that were taught by non-other than Iron man himself.
"Fucking hell, you little shit," Tony sighed tiredly, really done with his son's bullshit.
They continued walking through the hallways, seeing each intern's progress as they walk past.
"Welp uhh, what now?" Peter asked, looking at his dad
"I don't know, the author doesn't know how to fucking cut scenes smoothly so she could get to the FUCKING POINT OF THE STORY! What an idiot." The dumbass iron dildo said in an oddly angry yet so calm voice.
"Did she just fucking..-?" 
"Yes..yes she did," Peter said with a hint of quotation.

TIME SKIP!!

"FUCKING FINALLY!" The Iron dildo screamed with joy before the scene oddly disappeared, displaying a display of white. The screen flashed black as a new scene teleported in. 
Peter looked behind him to see his father gone, 
"Guess that's the behind-the-scenes time skip," Peter mumbled before jumping inside the scene, teleporting there.

"That was an odd 4th wall break," MJ said as he looked at Peter. 
"Yup," Peter said as he cuddled MJ close,
"Where's Ned?" Peter asked MJ with a questioning tone,
"No idea loser, but you should check the news," MJ responded, leaving Peter to do the shit she usually does.
"Damn, ok ig, pop off queen.." Peter sighed as he walks past the crowd of whispering students to find Ned. 

TIME SKIP BECAUSE THE AUTHOR REALLY IS LAZY!!!

And once school ended-
"WHAT, SINCE WHEN DID THE DAYS CHANGE??? I THOUGHT I JUST CAME BACK FROM A REPORT, WHY IS IT TOMORROW ALREADY!?"
"Shut up Peter, I'm too lazy to edit the days rn"

Again, as I said, ONCE the school ended
Peter left to get back to the tower, wanting to check out the news.
"PETER PARKER CONFIRMED TO HATE SPIDEY???"
Was displayed proudly on the TV.
"Welp, this is gonna be super fun."
Peter hurriedly changed into his spider suit and jumped out the window.
He was hurriedly crowded by a bunch of people, blasting him with questions here and there.
"WHAT'S YOUR OPINION ON PETER PARKER'S ANSWER SPIDER-MAN??" was the question that stood out the most.
Spidey inwardly groaned, smiling a little underneath the mask.
"Peter Parker's a loser, he utterly sucks. To be honest, I don't even understand why Tony would have him as an intern. Like, he can't even go a night without cuddling his stuffed toy of Iron man, what a child. He can't even stay quiet when I'm fucki- actually, I said too much." Spider-man said as he quickly shot a web, yanking himself up.

"Why the fuck was that in the script"
"Shut up and accept the script, Peter. I live to see hate love relationships. Even though you and Spider-man are the same person. Now fuck up and get on with the script."
"Fine."

Peter quickly rushed home, turning the TV on to see what was happening.
"I hate Peter Parker!" Spidey said it himself gals! He also added a tad bit too much information on the drama between them both.
*inserts scene of Spider-man aka Peter, talking about "how Peter can't be quiet when I'm fu-" thingy*
Now the only question is, are they together? Or is this just a pun Spidey pulled up out of the blue?
And that's all for today folks! Stay tuned for Slay reports!

Peter shut off the TV with a proud smile, he made fucking drama. 
Whatta guy amiright?

and that's pretty much the whole story of the event. They both kept exchanging insults and a tad bit of flirting at each other (aka the same person), making people more confused. The Avengers, aunt May, his other superhero friends, his friends, and AHEM AHEM, his girlfriend, watched with amusement at the drama. THE END, next chapter lol.