awkward.

ninety

BGK

Today was the worst day of my life. Onika was leaving me.

I was sad but it wasn't like she was going to be gone forever so I had to slap a smile on my face.

It wasn't the worst thing in the world, we could text and talk on the phone all the time.

I wanted to show her how supportive I was by making her breakfast. By me, I mean my mama. I begged her to make Onika breakfast.

She actually didn't have a problem with it, it could've just been because she was happy Onika was going to be in a different time zone.

I did my part by dying whipped cream in Berkeley's colors using foot coloring for the pancakes. Onika was going to be so happy to see me.

She knew I was coming over but she didn't know I was bringing her breakfast.

When I got to her house I texted her to open the door because my hands were going to be full and walked to her doorstep holding the food.

She opened the door in a bonnet and shorts with a matching shirt. Her eyes went straight to the food and she took it from me. "How did you know I was hungry?!"

"I didn't, but I'm glad you are."

She walked inside and closed the door then followed her to her dining table. She pushed me down like she usually does and sat down in my lap. "And are these Berkeley's colors? I love you."

"Yeah, where's your mom and sister?"

She was already stuffing her mouth, but she looked beautiful doing it. "Target. I needed cleaning supplies and plates but knowing my mom, she'll be gone for hours."

"What time is your flight?"

"We have hours until then. We can just hang out until then."

Kelly was in Boston, Lauren was in Louisiana, and now Onika was leaving.

I'm going to be so sad but I can't show it. Nobody forced me to stay here.

"Do you know what would be really funny?"

"What?"

"If we watched Catfish."

She covered her mouth so she could laugh. "I actually have some of your ice cream in my freezer. We can reenact our first date."

"Our first date? That wasn't a date, we weren't even together."

"That was a date, I don't care. I'm not feeding a bitch ice cream and it's not a date."

"I didn't really see that as a date but I was scared to be around you so maybe it was?"

"Aw, you were scared?"

"You were very scary, and intimidating. I had never met anyone like you before and it was obvious you liked me."

"Girl, you liked me before I liked you."

"Me?! You liked me since before we even met in person because of Bryson, remember?"

She elbowed me because I brought up the catfish. "But that Bey and you were two different people. I didn't like you how I liked the other Bey at first."

"Onika, literally our first couples times you were doing everything you could to make sure your butt was in my face and telling me how much you wanted to have sex with me. One time when I was hugging you, you told me to get off you before you fucked me."

Nobody had ever threatened to have sex with me before.

"I was attracted to you but I didn't like you. You were like a little kid to me."