xxvii. delicate dances

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NINA DIDN'T HAVE TO go to school the next Monday. Nobody was expecting her to show up. And that was precisely why she went.

People said nothing, to her face. There were plenty of whispers as she passed by. She marched to her first class of the day on autopilot, setting her things on the desk before taking her seat. She zoned out immediately. People kept talking. She pretended she was deaf.

How sad, they said.

How is she here?

I heard the two sisters always had some bad blood. How sad.

Shut the fuck up, Nina wanted to scream. But she didn't.

Her friends were awkward. Many felt they'd done their due diligence by texting her condolences last week, so today, they shot her sad smiles before ignoring her. She hated it, this feeling of everybody walking on eggshells around her. She knew that if she was in their position, she'd have tried to be more present for a grieving friend; she'd have tried harder than this.

Jasmine Tang, Nina's sweet seatmate she was slowly getting to know, placed a box of something on Nina's desk. It was a perfect little cupcake, lemon with blackcurrant frosting. Nina had let slip once that it was her favorite.

"I'm so sorry," Jasmine said. "I know it must hurt. But I thought, well, sugar has a way of soothing the soul, so..."

"Thank you," Nina whispered.

Jasmine squeezed Nina's hand once. "I'm happy to see you."

Such simple words, yet they made Nina want to cry. She beamed as brightly as she could at Jasmine, because if she opened her mouth, she might start sobbing and embarrass herself.

"Hey." Nina looked up. Riki stood before her. "I'm, uh... I'm really sorry about Mei," he said, looking supremely uncomfortable. "If there's anything I can do to help-"

"There is," Nina said.

"What?"

"Don't be nice to me." Nina inhaled. "Be normal. Insult me like usual. You of all people need to stay the same or I will lose it."

"But-"

"Please."

Riki exhaled. There must've been something in her voice that made him relent. She hated the thought of showing any vulnerability in front of him. "Fine." Riki cleared his throat. "You're ugly."

Her mouth curled into a smirk. "I said insult me, not lie to me."

"And you're feeling better." Riki rolled his eyes and turned to leave before pausing. "Um, when I mentioned Mei that day on the rooftop... I want to apologize for that."

"You've said worse."

"I know. Still."

"Thanks." Her tone was sincere.

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