xli. clashing (pt. 2)

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JIANA HURRIED DOWN the Main's stone steps. What if she ran into Jake, after hearing everything Hyunjoo had just said? What if she never got over this? Over him?

She was a master of outward peace. A difficult childhood had taught it to her. Limbs relaxed, languid posture, brow clear, permanent smile. That was how she appeared most of the time; peaceful, flitting through life like the ballerina she was.

But sometimes... sometimes. Sometimes she just wanted to curl into fetal position, shut her eyes, and never open them again.

Breathe!

I am breathing, she screamed inwardly, but her brain didn't care. It was hard at work in her factory of fears, multiplying each new worry that dropped in for a visit by hundreds and thousands, an endless mitosis that found her rushing onto the green field and leaning against the nearest tree for support.

Dr. Ahn's breathing technique wasn't working. It'd never lasted this long before, and it was making her panic more, which made it last even longer, and-

"Jia?"

Jiana glanced up. Sunoo stood before her. She cracked a weak smile in greeting but continued to wheeze in and out in a sorry attempt of a breathing exercise.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, making full eye contact. "Go like this: in for one, two, three, four... out one, two, three, four. There. It's easy, right? You're doing great."

Jiana followed his directions, forehead slowly dropping down to his chest as she did. "Good, keep going." His voice in her ear was soothing, and Jiana was able to calm down so long as she focused solely on it and what he was telling her to do. Then she raised her head. "Better?"

She nodded through a watery smile. Thanks, she mouthed.

"Sometimes I know exactly what to do to calm down, but it just doesn't work. Having someone else to take me through it always helps." Jiana nodded again, and he smiled sweetly. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, dropped down onto the grass, back against an immense tree. He did the same, watching as she took her phone out to type, reading patiently over her shoulder as she explained what had happened this morning.

"Wow." Sunoo shook his head once they were done. "Hyunjoo needs serious help."

She was right about some of it, Jiana conceded. She began typing again. I didn't expect it to be this bad. She didn't elaborate but saw in his face that he understood.

When the bell announcing the official start of the school day rang, they remained. Spring in Geumhan was beautiful. And Geumorae Academy boasted extraordinary green areas: trees, bushes, perfectly shorn grass, gazebos scattered around an expanse of field, and even a small pond sat right in front of their tree with numerous little fish frolicking about inside.

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