Fly Away

epilogue

Song: Billie Eilish - TV

Rocco

Tired.

I've never felt this tired in my whole life and now I think I'm officially going to lose my mind.

It's been one year.

One year, seven days and three hours.

I feel like I can't breathe anymore. Like the oxygen in my lungs is forcing itself around my body and keeping me upright.

Punctured.

It's like every organ, my heart mainly, is punctured with deep holes. A void only she can fill. Maybe death too.

I can't even feel the wind that's blowing in my face and searing my skin with goosebumps. I can't feel the grass underneath me or the flowers beneath my fingertips as I place them at the base of the headstone.

Mia Fiori, Beloved wife.

I should have added 'cherished daughter' but she wasn't cherished. She wasn't valued in the way she was always supposed to be. She wasn't loved by her family the way she fucking deserved to be.

It's taken me three hours to build up the courage to visit today, and for every second that I've been sitting here I've had to fight the tears that are threatening to burst.

It's torture.

I breathe in the chilling air, the freshly mown grass and the soil that's scattered all around me.

I breathe in the scent of the raw earth and force myself to stay in control. I've never was in control when it came to her, and nothing is going to change now but I have to, for her.

"Sometimes I wake up and see you lying next to me, but then I blink and remember that you haven't been lying next to me for a long time now. I like to imagine you there, smiling at me and telling me to get out of bed and continue on with my day because I'll waste my life if I sulk around." I look up to the sky, picturing Mia. Her hair blowing in the wind next to me and her sparkling blue eyes staring up at me as she smiles.

"But I don't want to get out of bed anymore. I want to be where you are. I don't want to live my life without you, and the truth is I don't know how much of this I can take anymore."

I can feel it. The soft glide of wetness down my cheek the saltiness on my tongue and the memories. Every. Single. One.

Her laughter fills my ears as we run out of the store, an ice-cream in both of our hands, the sweet, sticky texture dripping down our fingers as the sun blazes down onto us.

My skin is burning hot and I try to keep up with Mia as we run through the park and make our way to the bench sitting on the far side.

I'm panting hard, the sweat coating my back making my t-shirt stick to my skin.

"That was fun." She says, plopping herself down onto the old, wooden bench and slouching against the backrest.

Her hair is sticking to her forehead, the strands from her messy bun falling to frame her young face.

I take a seat beside her and watch as she licks the ice-cream from her fingers before biting a dollop from the top.

I wince, feeling the coldness shoot through my teeth as I proceed to eat my own.

It's a peaceful silence as we sit, observing the surroundings and listening to the cars speed by on the road next to us.

"You know, you're my bestest friend." She says, licking the remnants of her ice cream.

Her words startle me, and I look towards her, taking in the sunlight reflecting off the blue in her eyes. I never really let myself think about it too much, but she's probably my closest friend too. And the most beautiful one.

"You're mine too." I reply I'm a whisper, too afraid to lose the moment.

I shuffle closer to her and she rests her head on my shoulder, her eyes turning up to look into my own. A smile breaks out on her face, and I absorb everything, not knowing that one day her smile will be the only living thing of hers.

...

Guys, I couldn't resist an epilogue, I had to physically reincarnate Rocco to his younger self because I miss them so much.

I know it's really short and not in a lot of detail or whatever, but this is just a memory and something to hold onto regarding them.

Thank you all again for reading this book along with me and I love you all so much.

Fml it's so hard leaving them.

❤️