Church: Let me get this straight. You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Church:[sarcastic] Bad? Oh no, that's not bad! Next time they come over, why don't you just help them blow up the whole GODDAMN BASE?!?!
Tucker: There! There they are!
Church: *uses his sniper rifle to see them* Where? Oh! Yeah! Oh, I got them! *zooms in* They're sneakin' around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: They must be some smart sons of a bitch.
Meanwhile
Donut: Aw, man, I am so freaking lost.
Blitz: Uh, Donut?
Donut: Yeah?
Blitz: The base is over there. *points to the Red Base*
Donut: Oh thanks! *literally does the opposite of what Blitz just said*
Blitz: No wait!
Meanwhile
Church:[watching them]: Oh, shit. Hey, Tucker, look at his armor. It's red and the other one...holy shit is that a demon?!
Tucker: Okay first of all; Aw, man! That means it's their Sergent. Second a DEMON?!
Church: Yeah, but it makes sense that their Sergent would take our flag. At least now we know how they got by our defenses.
Caboose: Uh, you know, the red one came in the back door where you guys were standing, then the Imp knocked you two out.
Tucker: Yeah, okay, well, let's take them out, then.
Church: Roger that. *zooms in* Say goodnight, Sarge and demon. *shoots four bullets but he somehow misses*
With Blitz and Donut
Donut: *trying to dodge the gunfire* Son of a bitch!
Blitz: Alright. *pulls out his Sniper Rifle and aims it at Tucker* Let's kill these fuckin' Blues!
With the Blues
Church: Aw, crap. *turns to Tucker who's looking at him* What?
Tucker: You're really not very good with that thing, are you?
Church: Hey what the? *sees Blitz aiming his sniper* Oh shit get down!
*each one of the Blues goes inside their base as Blitz was too late to fire his shot*
Blitz: Fuck.
Donut:[yelling] Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember?!
With the Blues
Tucker: *looks outside the base* Oh, great. Now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Church:[pissed off] Alright, that's it! I'VE HAD IT! Rookie, *looks at Caboose* you stay here! Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut them off at the pass!
Caboose: Right!
Church: Tucker, you ready? Let's go!
Tucker: There's no way I'm going to go back up there and enter the teleporter just so I can get fucked.
Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this! Plus why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know! Why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?! Also, I ain't risking my life today!
Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Church: Yeah, and? So what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what all this is about, then? You're afraid of a little black stuff?
Tucker: Yes! I am! I am afraid of black stuff.
Church: Tucker, *slowly raises his gun* I almost hate to do this to you.
Tucker: You wouldn't.
Church: You know, I look at it this way. Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or, B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
Tucker: For the record, I want you to know rocks aren't people.
Church: Duly noted. Now time to go to the teleporter.
Tucker: Crap. Alright. One! Two! *runs to the teleporter and luckily enough he makes it without Blitz shooting him then he enters the teleporter but he doesn't appear at the destination point*
*Church and Caboose look at the endpoint to see Tucker isn't there... and long silence*
Caboose: *carefully looking outside* Huh. He didn't come out the other side.
Church: *carefully looking outside* Yeah... I've uh... I've decided I'm not going to use the teleporter. *goes outside the base* Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
Meanwhile
*Grif is using the sniper rifle to see what's happening*
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: *sighs* I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like, bam! Bam! Bam!
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. *sees Church* Wait a second... We got a blue guy on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Grif: Oh, crap! It's... *turns to Blitz and Donut talking* It's Donut and Blitz. And they got something. It looks like... Simmons... Get the Warthog.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
The End
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue with one Helluva Visitor: Blood Gulch Chronicles
FanfictionBlitz was having the worst days of his life after that incident at Ozzie's, Blitz decided that he needed to get some air on Earth but it didn't look right Blitz decided to enter the portal but in doing so he accidentally trapped himself there. With...
