*Sarge, Simmons, and Blitz are on the Warthog with Blitzin the driver's seat*
Simmons: Alright, hit it.
*Blitz puts the pedal on the metal as they drive to the Blues as Gold and Lilith follow right behind*
With the Blues
Ghoul Church: *coughs* What the hell? Who tried to blow us up with a grenade?
Pauline: *coughs* And how are you coughing? You don't have lungs.
Ghoul Church: Yeah.
*The Warthog jumps over them like a dirtbike jumping over a bus!*
Sarge: Yeehaw! That a cowboy!
*Ghoul Church runs away and Pauline notices Gold & Lilith so she goes to them*
Simmons: Hey, Sarge, Blitz! *jumps off the Warthog* Hold on a sec! Did you see something weird, you guys?
*Blitz stops driving and he and Sarge get off the Warthog*
Sarge: Yes, I did.
Blitz: Really?
Sarge: Once when I was a small child, I saw a man who claimed to be my uncle do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to this-
Blitz: What?!
Simmons: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I meant, did you see something weird just now? Like five seconds ago.
Blitz: Yeah, I think he meant that.
Sarge: Oh. Then no.
Blitz: What the fuck was all that shit about this perverted man calling you your uncle?
Sarge: I keep telling everyone, he wasn't my uncle! He wasn't!
Simmons: Do you want to talk about it?
Sarge: Just get back in the damn jeep.
With the Blues
*Tucker and Caboose cornered Lopez*
Tucker: Hold it right there, hombre! *to Caboose* I told you throwing that grenade would work! Church is going to be so impressed!
Caboose: And Shiela will love me again, and this time, for who I am, not just for my stunning good looks. But for those too.
Tucker: Do you hear... screaming?
Caboose: Nope.
Tucker: Yeah me neither.
*Suddenly Gold gets launched into the ground and stands up*
Gold: Um... hi?
Cyan López: ¡Oro! ¡Soy yo, López! (Gold! It's me, Lopez!)
Gold: López! ¿Por qué tu cuerpo es cian? (Lopez! Why is your body cyan?)
Cyan Lopez: ¡Estos bastardos azules me secuestraron! ¡Ayúdame a escapar! (These Blue bastards kidnapped me! Help me escape!)
Gold: Lo tienes amigo! (You got it, buddy!)
Caboose: (deep voice) You're all going to get fucked!
Tucker: What the hell are you three talking about?
Gold: ¡Vienen los refuerzos de López! ¡Te confundirán con un azul! ¡Razonaré con ellos! (Lopez reinforcements are coming! They'll mistake you for a Blue! I'll reason with them!)
Cyan Lopez: Gracias amigo! (Thank you friend!)
Tucker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody cares. We need you to fix our tank.
Gold: Fuck you! He ain't doin' it, amigo! Right, Lopez!?
Cyan Lopez: ¡Sí! ¡No lo haré! *en su POV aparecen sus Objetivos Principales: 1. Arreglar todo, 2. Odiar al Naranja, 3. Llamar a mamá más seguido.* (Yes! I won't do it! *in his POV his Primary Objectives appear: 1. Fix everything, 2. Hate the Orange One, 3. Call mom more often.*)
Gold: Yeah!
*Suddenly Pauline fell to the ground thanks to Lilith*
Pauline: Owwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Gold: Heh, karma.
With the Reds
*Simmons is aiming for the Blues as he sees the four Blues between Gold*
Sarge: Hold your fire, there, Simmons!
Blitz: Yeah. *deep voice* This is daddy's payback~.
Simmons: That was kinda badass.
Blitz: Thanks!
Sarge: Time to floor it!
With the Blues and Gold
Tucker: That's right, *picks up Pauline* we're just casually strolling away. *walks backward* No cause for concern.
Caboose: RUNNING TIME! *runs away!*
Tucker: NINCE AND CASUAL! MORON! *runs away*
Cyan Lopez: ¡Sí, sí, huid, perros cobardes! Que se sepa que el gran López ha ganado este día y- (Yes, yes, run away, you cowardly dogs! Be it known that the great Lopez has won this day and-)
Gold: Wait... *turns around* OH SHIT GUYS WAIT!!!
Cyan Lopez: ¿Qué? (What?)
Blitz: (riding the Warthog which is rapidly approaching!) Aim for the cobalt sex bitch!
Sarge: Way ahead of you buddy!
Gold: OH SHIT! *someone grabs him grabs him and runs away*
Cyan Lopez: No me has dado opción. (You have given me no choice.) *activates the Warthog's self-destruct*
Simmons: We've got you now, you Blue bastard! Hey, do you two hear beeping?
*Suddenly the Warthog explodes! And The Reds go flying!*
Cyan Lopez: Lo siento, padre y amigo. (I'm sorry, father and friend.)
Tucker: Alright! Not bad, robot dude!
Caboose: I knew he would save us! I knew it! Robot people always like me! It's because of my awesome dancing.
Cyan Lopez: Mi corazón está desgarrado. Mi amigo trató de salvarme pero se lo llevaron. (My heart is torn. My friend tried to save me but he was taken.)
Tucker: Yeah, okay, man. Can you just shut up and fix our tank?
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue with one Helluva Visitor: Blood Gulch Chronicles
FanfictionBlitz was having the worst days of his life after that incident at Ozzie's, Blitz decided that he needed to get some air on Earth but it didn't look right Blitz decided to enter the portal but in doing so he accidentally trapped himself there. With...
