*Pans in on O'Malley on a balcony, wearing black armor and holding a sniper. He laughs evilly.*
Tex: Let's go get him! (she runs off the edge)
Church: Alright, c'mon Caboose, let's go.
Mental-Caboose: I am sorry, have we met?
Church: What? It's me Church.
Mental-Caboose: I don't seem to have any memory of you. My name is Michael J. Caboose, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Church: Oh you've got to be freaking kidding me. I just hope Tucker's doing a better job out there getting the Reds to turn off their radios.
Cut to the real world. Tucker is standing on Sheila just outside the Red Base
Tucker: Goddammit! This isn't going very well at all. You okay Lopez?
*Lopez approaches*
Lopez: López el Pesado es invulnerable a la lesión. [Lopez the Heavy is impervious to injury.]
Pauline: Whatever you big showoff. How about you Sheila, you still online?
Sheila: Affirmative.
Tucker: Okay, we should be close enough to hack into their radio frequency. Lopez get inside Sheila and do your business.
Sheila: What?!
Lopez: ¡Estoy poniéndome muy sudoroso! [I'm getting very sweaty!]
Tucker: Oh my God. Remind me to hose you two off when we get back to base.
*Cut to Sarge, Simmons, and Donut inside Red Base*
Sarge: Well this is a devil of a picadillo. Simmons get on the squawk box and tell command-
Tucker: (over the radio) Red guys, are you there?
Lilith: Uh... who is this?
Tucker: It's me Tucker, I'm one of the blue guys. Look I don't have time to explain, but I need all of you guys to shut off your radios right now.
Sarge: Boy, it'll be a cold day in hell before I take orders from you.
Tucker: Look, it's really important alright? Normally I'd just shoot at you guys and steal your girlfriends but today's different. I need you to trust me on this.
Sarge: Well I may have spoke too soon. That is an interesting and well-thought-out, not to mention clever and timely I might add, proposition. Simmons, would you care to deliver our rebuttal?
Blitz: (clears throat) Suck it blue!
Donut: Yeah, suck it blue! Now that's what I call an old-school zinger. In your face blue dude, in your face!
Tucker: (sighs) Aw man.
Gold: Guys I think we should hear him out.
In Caboose's Mindscape
*O'Malley jumps from ledge to ledge laughing evilly. Tex and Church are pursuing him.*
Tex: Hurry up Church! He's getting away!
Church runs up to Tex
O'Malley: You'll never catch me!
Church: Come on let's go!
*Tex, then Church, hop over a gap and land on the ledge and continue chasing O'Malley. Cut to the real world, the blues outside Red Base.*
Tucker: Dammit, these guys are not backing down! Lopez, looks like we're gonna have to go to Plan B.
*Lopez exits Sheila. words indicating a music video appear at the lower left corner of the screen. he begins singing a love song, accompanied by music, to Sheila. Gold's ears are bleeding*
Gold: ...Ow. *turns off radio*
Sarge: What in Betty's bloomers is on the radio now? Sounds like the feral cry of a retarded Mexican sasquatch!
Simmons: Turn it off, turn it off! Please God make it stop!
Donut: Oh man, this rules. RULES!
Blitz: OH GOD WHAT IS THAT NOISE?!
Lilith: I don't know I just know that I hate it. *tuns off radio* Ah that's better.
*Blitz aswell turns off his radio*
Blitz: Yeah... the silence is better.
*In Caboose's head. O'Malley runs into Tex and Church.*
O'Malley: Huh?
Church: Alright, O'Malley, this is it. From now on, if anyone makes my girlfriend cranky and psychotic, it's gonna be me.
Tex: Aww, that's sweet.
Church: Shut up, bitch.
Tex: Asshole.
O'Malley: Never! The darkness will swallow you whole!
Church: Dead end, O'Malley! You're just one big headache, and I got a whole pistol full of aspirin!
Tex: What?
Church: I got half a mind to kill you...
Tex: That's ridiculous.
Church: ...and the other half agrees!
Tex: Ugh, Church, that's just stupid.
Church: You're about to split...
Tex: God, Church.
Church: ...personality!
Tex: Now you're just embarrassing yourself.
Church: Psyche!
*Back in Red Base. Lopez's love song singing is still going on.*
Sarge: That's it, I've had enough, can't take anymore! Everybody, switch off your radios.
Donut: But Sarge-
Sarge: That's an order private.
Donut: Sarge pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.
Sarge: Don't try my patience boy!
Donut: Ah, man!
*They shut off their radios. Tucker sees this from above and runs over to Sheila and Lopez*
Tucker: (giggles with excitement) It worked! Hey turn off your radio, quick!
*Lopez enters Sheila. Back inside Caboose's head, Tex aiming her gun at O'Malley*
Tex: Nice knowing you, O'Malley, but payback's a bitch, and so am I.
Church: Wait, Tex, we don't know if Tucker's had enough time.
Tex: There's only one way to find out.
*They open fire on O'Malley. O'Malley can be heard yelling. The screen goes black and they stop firing. The screen returns to Church*
Church: Huh, he just disappeared. I expected like an echoing laugh or the smell of brimstone at least. I don't smell any kind of stone. Don't you think that's weird, Tex? Tex? Tex, where'd you go? (echoing from Caboose) Tex, where'd you go? How do I get out of here? What happened to O'Malley?
The End-
Voice on radio: Come in, Blue Command. Do you read me?
*Cut to Doc.*
Doc: This is Medical Officer DuFresne. Is anyone there? Do you read me?
To be Continued
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Red vs Blue with one Helluva Visitor: Blood Gulch Chronicles
FanfictionBlitz was having the worst days of his life after that incident at Ozzie's, Blitz decided that he needed to get some air on Earth but it didn't look right Blitz decided to enter the portal but in doing so he accidentally trapped himself there. With...
