Author: Previously on RvB: One Helluva Visitor! Pauline possessed Lopez who fell in love with Sheila!... Um... What else happened?... OH RIGHT! Gold got kidnapped! And while the Reds were looking for him he appeared out of nowhere! And then he got grabbed by someone and the rest of the 4 OCs of this story jumped in after him! Now on with the SHOW!!!
*The Red Team -4 are back at base. Grif was panicking as hell.*
Sarge: Ladies, it has come to my attention that we are in need of a new robot-type person. Who here wants to volunteer?
Donut: Are we going on a trip? I love trips! Can we play I spy? And license plate games?
Grif: *panicking* SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONUT!!!!!!!! YOU GAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Donut: WoaH!! Ho-ho-HO!!!
Grif: *panicking* I'm sorry I haven't been this stressed since EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Sarge: Simmons! Get Grif here a paper bag. He needs it.
Simmons: Righty-o sir! *goes to find a paper bag*
Sarge: Now... where ever could they be?
Meanwhile! In a volcanic world filled with... it's volcanic you can imagine what's there.
Gold: OWWWWW!!! Damn that hurt! *sees Lilith and dashes towards her* Lilith! *hugs her* Oh thank God!
Lilith: Hehe! Okay, let go! *The couple let go of each other* Now! Where the hell are we?
Pauline: *stands up* Well... I want to say... Hell?
*The crew looks around as lava spews around*
Bliss: It does look like it...
???: The Hellfire Pit! One of Lucifer's many angel-killing weapons.
*They all turn to who said it... it was a small demon smaller than Blitz. Wearing a suit and a red bowtie and striped horns. He had tons of guns on him. Lilith, Bliss, and Gold knew him... he was Moxxie. Beside him was his wife Millie and Blitz's former adopted daughter Loona the Hellhound and Stolas the Owl Prince he used to fuck.*
Lilith: Oh shit...
Pauline: Um... who are they?
Bliss: *whispers to Pauline* They're... Blitz's old friends.
Pauline: Oh shit... the male Imp looks like he hasn't had sex.
*Moxxie became extremely offended*
Pauline: Like does he peg women or do women peg him? I mean...
Lilith: *laughs* Okay, okay, okay! Stop it! This is a serious situation!
Millie: HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Bliss: WHOA!! It's the woman who fucks the limp-dick fucker! *laughing*
Gold: *slight chuckle* This is kind of funny!
Loona: *chuckles* Oh my God...
Moxxie: THIS IS SERIOUS!!!!!!
Gold: Fuck it. I'll make an exception. *laughs*
*Soon Gold, Lilith, Bliss, Pauline even Loona started laughing and it ended with a bullet in Gold's head*
Gold: OW!!! *it quickly regenerated but it really hurt* Okay! Now let's take this seriously.
Stolas: Okay then.
*Moxxie cocked his shotgun, Millie brought out her axe, Loona pulled out her claws, and Stolas turned full demon*
Stolas: WHO'S FIRST?
*Then the 4 OCs huddled up and discussed who they wanted to take on. Hey. The writers pick who fights who. So let the characters choose which one to fuck up.*
Gold: Okay which one should we all fight?
Lilith: I'll take the teenager.
Bliss: Why do you get the teen? If anything Pauline should take her.
Pauline: But I want the Owl Prince!! He seems tough.
Lilith: Oh my God.
Gold: Maybe-
Bliss: No I'll take the Owl Prince-
Pauline: What WHY?!?
Lilith: Go back to the Reds. We'll continue this in another part.
Back to the Reds
*Grif is breathing in a paper bag*
Simmons: Now sir. What exactly do you mean by volunteer?
Sarge: Quite obviously we are without a robot or any other type of recruit with mechanical training or dexterity. Therefore, the only solution is to turn one of you into a robot and/or freaky cyborg thing.
Simmons: Have you gone crazy? What the hell?
Grif: *flips Sarge off* FUCK YOU!!!
Donut: Cool! I vote for Simmons!
Sarge: I'm told the cyborg operation is a relatively simple procedure, really. Where the mostly useless guts and slimy goo of the human body are replaced with the no doubt superior guts and oily goo of a robot. If you're lucky, you may even get a copper rectum.
Simmons: Sir, wouldn't it be better if we didn't do that, instead of doing that?
Sarge: Good thinking, Simmons. But no, I like the removing the guts thing, so I think we'll stick with that.
Grif: *panicking* FINE, YEAH LET'S FUCKING DO IT!!! BUT WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE DO THAT INSTEAD OF ORDERING A NEW ONE!!!!!!??????
Sarge: Negative, Peppino from Pizza Tower. Another new robot could be reprogrammed by our enemies just as easily as Lopez. We need someone we know we can trust.
Simmons: Aw, fuck me.
Sarge: Or someone whose mental capacity is so unbelievably tiny that he could never be turned against us.
Donut: Hey, pink suit, guys! I think it's somebody else's turn in the barrel!
Sarge: Then again, maybe we just stick with the trustworthy thing.
YOU ARE READING
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