Simmons: Okay, I get it. You built a remote control for the jeep into Lopez.
Sarge: Yep. But there's no way anyone could have found out how to turn it on. I hid in a place no one would look-
Gold: You put it in Lopez's crotch didn't you old man?
*Silence...*
Sarge: Yes.
Gold: Genius.
Grif: Why would you put it there?
Sarge: Well even if they've figured out to turn it on, they'd never know the set of code words to control it. Only me, Gold, and my diary know that.
Gold: That's right I helped him pick out the control word.
With the Blues
Church: There, you hear that?
Tucker & Pauline: Is it like a screaming, high-pitched whistling noise, followed by a series of random clicks? *they look at each other*
Church: No, it's just like this constant "beep, beep, beep" noise.
Tucker: Oh. Then no, I don't hear anything.
Church: Do you, er, wait, do you actually hear a series of whistling noises followed by some random clicks?
Pauline: No. We were just trying to be helpful.
Church: Yeah, well, you two are falling.
Caboose: All I hear is that voice, you know, telling us to kill all of our friends before they have a chance to kill us.
*Everyone looks at Caboose in concern*
Caboose: What, you guys don't hear that?
Church: Oh, man, I can't take this anymore. Tucker, you're gonna have to do something, man. This beeping is going to drive me crazy.
*Echoing: Drive me crazy. 3 times the Warthog activates*
Warthog: Drive.
Sarge: Jumpin' Jehosafats, they've cracked the code! That dern windtalkers!
Gold: Aw shit why did we make the code word DRIVE?!?!?!
Simmons: YOU TWO MADE THE CODE WORD DRIVE?!?!
Sarge: We couldn't really think of other drive synonyms.
Doc: Ooh! Aah!
*Warthog kidnappes Doc*
Gold: Holy shit! The Warthog kidnapped him!
Doc: *being kidnapped* Help! WHAT GOLD SAID!!!
Gold: H'oh boy. Author, it won't get worse right?
Simmons: Hey, Sarge, new rule. How 'bout we just don't take any more prisoners, since we seem to suck at it.
With the Blues
*Caboose sees Church's switch*
Caboose: I see a switch down here. *whispers* It's not very big.
Pauline: It's funny because it's a dick joke.
Church: Shut up!
Pauline: What? Reader, you get me did you notice this joke?
Tucker: Oh, yeah I can hear it.
Caboose: Oh yeah me too.
Church: Huh... makes sense anyway just flip it. Wait, stop.
Warthog: [in a distance] Stop. *stops*
Church: Caboose... do you know how to work a switch?
Gold: [in a distance] Hey it stopped!
Caboose: Uhhhhhhh...
Church: Alright. The switch is pointed in one direction, just turn it around-
Gold: [in a distance] *walking to the Warhog* Good puma-
Warthog: [in a distance] Turn around. *turns around knocking back Gold across the universe and drives away*
Gold: [in a distance] OW!!!!
Church: [unaware of the chaos behind him] -so that it's pointed in the other direction.
Caboose: [unaware of the chaos behind Church] Oops! It broke itself.
Church: [unaware] Ugh!!!
With Doc
Doc: Oh, man, what now?
Grif: That does not look good.
Gold: *runs back on screen* What did I miss? *looks at Warthog* Oh right.
Grif: Nice kitty, nice kitty!
*Donut backs away*
With the Blues
*Tucker, Pauline, and Caboose are looking at Church's crotch looking for anything to stop the beeping*
Tucker: Okay, I see two wires down here.
Pauline: One's green, the other's red.
Caboose: What about the blue one?
Pauline: That's your thumb.
Church: Come on, guys, just grab whichever one goes to the switch, and yank it out.
Tucker: Eh, I can't really tell which one goes over there.
Church: Then just yank 'em both.
Caboose: Church, if we pick the wrong one... *whispers* you could explode.
Church: I don't care, look, just follow the red one.
With the Reds
Warthog: Acquire target: Red.
Gold: Sarge! Move! *runs away with the rest of Red Team*
With the Blues
Paulie: I see the red one- ah screw it! I'll take out the red one! This episode's gone on long enough.
With the Reds
*Sarge is pinned by the Warthog*
Sarge: Oh! What the Author said!
Warthog: Eliminate Red target. *starts shooting and goes to Sarge like one of those lasers for drama*
Sarge: What a way to go.
Gold: You do realize this is a cliffhanger right?
To be Continued
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Red vs Blue with one Helluva Visitor: Blood Gulch Chronicles
FanfictionBlitz was having the worst days of his life after that incident at Ozzie's, Blitz decided that he needed to get some air on Earth but it didn't look right Blitz decided to enter the portal but in doing so he accidentally trapped himself there. With...
