Not Qualified For Friends

I

We made it to my house I opened the door and it was always empty but Rios is there... So it's better. Rio this house is now yours...don't ever forget that. I laid him down on my bed and I saw a smile appear, you like it don't you?  A crumb-free bed, don't  worry you can sleep here all day long I'll take the couch as I was preparing to walk out I felt a tug on my shirt

"Sleep with me... I don't want to be alone" I let out a quick gasp, sleep with him? A goddess such as him...

"Rio" I mumbled, I took off my shoes and lay right beside him. Is this for real? I'm sleeping with Rio... What could have caused this? Suddenly I remembered Lucas was in that same spot when he  lied to me...about staying with me... I looked over at him and he was crying again, shriveling, those loud cries, his tears will be stained in my sheets... amazing! I shouldn't stop him from crying, because the more the merrier, so I shut my eyes.

What is this feeling? It's tight and wet... I popped open my eyes to find myself oozing out cum

"Rio" I groaned, he was sucking me off tightly, he lifted his head taking a deep breath

"I'm sorry... I-i-i just" even though he apologized he didn't stop what he was doing... How long has he been doing this? I noticed a pool of cum on my stomach... That's a lot... I lifted his head from me and looked him in the eye, he was sleepy... He's sad... He's desperate, he came up to my lips planting a kiss on me. I tasted my cum lurking inside his mouth, I didn't bother closing my eyes, because this can't be real... He pulled away and started kissing me down my neck. I felt him moving his hand under my shirt pinching tightly onto my nipple, is this supposed to be a turn-on?

"Are you comfortable...?" He asked

"Of course" 

"Then why aren't you hard?" I laid my head on his shoulder, I thought once we came to this stage I'll figure out the secret of being gay... But now that it's here I'm not prepared, he's going to think that I don't love him but I do! I'll kill myself if he asks me to there's nothing I wouldn't do for this man! I squeezed tighter onto him "max...why is it so hard"

"I'll do anything you ask me to no questions" he held onto the sides of my face to bring it up to his, I feel drunk whenever I look at him...He smiled kissing me on the forehead. I pulled down his boxers and then positioned myself how he wanted, I felt him take me inside him. He let out a loud moan gripping my back, he called out my name many times, asking me questions if I'm enjoying it, and how can I was enjoying this. It went inside so easily... Aren't you embarrassed Rio?  Embarrassed by how much of a slut you are?

"Yes I'm having so much fun"

"That's good" he continued rocking back and forth, speeding up with each passing moment. I'm such an idiot, of course, he's loose after that teacher raped him so many times, it isn't Rios's fault he's a slut it's the teacher's fault, I'll forgive you this time Rio, and I am sorry for saying those things. But even after... Realizing that... I couldn't find it to enjoy this experience, I wish Rio could love me and not use me... As a replacement for missing Marcus. I felt his cum shoot out on my stomach his head dropping on my shoulder huffing and puffing. This is why I didn't finish because it wasn't real. Next time Rio I will finish, I laid him down and he went back to sleep.

I woke up to an empty bed, Rio wasn't sleeping next to me. I popped up and got off the bed, he must have left just like Lucas did! I should have made him stay... Yeah next time I see him I'll make him stay...

"Uhm max I gotta go I'll see you" I turned around and saw him putting on his belt, oh he's still here! "Last night" he muttered another sign your fake, the real Rio would always say good morning, you want me to feel bad, don't you? I don't feel anything except wanting this Imposter to leave my house

"Can you leave?"

"Max-"

"I already know where this is headed ... It's not fair that I had to sleep with you because you miss marcus...rio I actually like you and now you're going to tell me it's a mistake. " I shut my eyes, this is it he's gone he won't talk to me again... It'll be like before alone, dark and soundless, I don't want to go back to that... Not ever I refuse to go back

" I'll just go," he said I opened my eyes and he was already halfway down the hallway, I picked up my joggers and threw them on. Step, step, step, the step of her heels as they hit the floor, she's leaving me in this cold room with these unknown strangers, she can't just walk out how can someone walk out? I was her child and she told me I was the most important thing to her! How can she just leave me... The last thing I heard was the front door shutting, the emptiness surrounding me tightly leaving me unable to move, it's always been there it always has always caught  up to me..
but I don't want it to, why can't it just leave me alone? Why can't they just stay so I wouldn't have to feel this way? I have to get Rio back! I don't want to feel this pain anymore,
I ran out of the house but he was nowhere in sight, where is he? Where I looked everywhere I turned to see black hair but no pink eyes and no scar on their cheek, where could he have gone? I don't know I don't know... I don't know anything! I wonder back into the house and picked up a small knife along with my keys, and went back outside and unlocked the door, I got inside starting the engine, I have to find Rio, I just got to... He's the only one that matters right now or the only one that matters in this world, cars began to slow down. Stopped they only can do that because they have nowhere to be... But I do, I have to be with Rio and Rio has to be with me, I don't have time to waste at this red light so I kept driving faster and faster if I'm fast enough I can escape it... I made it to his house and parked across the street, finally Rio I get to see you, from my window from your window I feel full, but not satisfied being separated by the glass I don't want that... Rio, I want to be with you, beside you, under you, or on top, I don't deserve him he's good while I, on the other hand, can't even remember his whole schedule, or what he's thinking or what he feels... I messed everything up! I should have told him he could stay. I should have finished letting him complete that stupid sentence this is all my fault, I'm the only one to blame! I'm trash... I'm unworthy that's why he's crying over Marcus instead of me... I reached for the knife inside my pocket and pulled up my sleeves, I deserve to be punished, I deserve to feel pain, I rested the side of the knife onto my arm and slashed, seconds later blood aroused taking the shape of the cut, it didn't hurt so I kept going, I have to keep going until I can't bare it anymore, I kept staring and cutting, I don't care how deep it gets this is my punishment, I should have tried harder for you to stay, I was being selfish as always, that's why my mother left, I should have done what she wanted and she would have stayed with me and she wouldn't have left me in that hospital alone. My arm is full of cuts there's no skin or part I didn't cut, is this enough Rio? Will this makeup for my disobedience? I rolled down my sleeve and stepped out of the car I went up to his door and twisted it open. Right now he's in the kitchen. I stepped inside the warmth presents of Rio, something I don't deserve and yet I long for it, I walked inside the living room smelling the couch, the sweet smell of feet, and a hint of dog, this smoothing and settling feeling of Rios sweet sweet smell is making me high...so very high, please let me dream in his odors, I saw a black string from the cracks of the couch, it was thin I pulled it out, it'd hair a....string...of...hair...
A gifted! I'll treasure it forever! I heard the sound of his footsteps, slow unsure, and dragged, I quickly ran into the same closet shutting myself inside. He sat down on the couch and turned on the tv, watching the news, by the way, he was staring at the screen so intensely he still didn't fully process Marcus' death, he crawled into a ball and began weeping, seeing him in pain like this... Hurts me badly, I won't have Kyle kill anyone anymore, I can't stand this it'd bring me physical pain, every time I breathe or feels like I'm taking in blades a bit of rip breathes so do I,