You and Me? Never

Chapter 15

It's an extremely shitty Tuesday morning. I'm up before the alarm even has a chance to piss me off, which is just unheard of. I barely slept last night, recent events playing on repeat, slowly torturing me. The cherry on top though, is that it's Tuesday and I have Spanish class with Blake. I really don't want to see him, not today, not ever.

Once I got back yesterday, I took a shower and then went straight to bed, having had enough of the day. I figured I'd sleep on it and maybe I'll feel better in the morning, however that is not the case. I'm still as pissed as ever. His words are still fresh in my mind. So fresh that I was honestly considering skipping class today just to avoid him, but then I thought to myself, fuck him. I am not the one that should be ashamed and hide as if I'm in the wrong here. Because I'm not.

He had no right to speak that way to me, or anyone else for that matter. I won't skip class because of him. I won't let him hold that much power over me. Maybe if I'm lucky and the stars align, he's the one that won't be there today. I'm really fucking hoping and praying for that.       

I don't even know how long I have been lying in bed, stuck in my head. I need to stop though, because the more I think, the angrier I get. I have even resisted the urge to check the time because I don't want to look at my phone. I'm not sure if I don't want to see texts from Blake right now or if I'm scared there won't be any.

Despite everything, I end up checking the time on my phone, which tells me it is currently just before seven. I also end up seeing a few texts from Blake and, as if on cue, something in my chest tightens.

Blake: I'm sorry.             

 Blake: I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't mean it.    

Blake: Can we talk?

If I'm being honest, I don't even know what to feel, reading those texts. Saying sorry now, won't cut it. It does not change the fact that he said what he said. I can forgive him, but I won't forget. We won't be able to go back to our friendship, if you can even call it that. Now that I know what he's capable of, I'll just be waiting for the other shoe to drop, just like with my dad. It is what it is. It's better that I found out now, rather than later on down the road.            

I completely ignore his texts and walk out of my bedroom and into the kitchen area. I don't normally eat breakfast because I'm usually in a rush and just not hungry, but today is an exception. I have plenty of time, so what better way to spend it than eating?              

I start the kettle to make some tea and then grab the eggs from the fridge. I'm feeling like an omelette today.          

Mia steps out of her room with a sad smile. "Hey, you're up early. How are you feeling?"              

I shrug. "I'm fine. Do you want an omelette?"

"No thanks. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but the fact that you're up at this hour alone tells me you are not fine."         

I look back at her. "I am fine, really. It's not that big of a deal."      

Mia looks like she doesn't believe me but doesn't push it either. "Alright. I'm gonna go get ready for my run. Let me know if you need anything." I smile and nod, genuinely thankful for her.             

By the time I was finished making and eating breakfast, it was time for me to head out. I was dressed and out the door in no time.