You and Me? Never

Chapter 19

"So, what's the verdict?"           

"I don't know what they do to these but you're right. They're incredible."    

We are currently standing in the kitchen, devouring one smile cookie at a time. I'm obsessed and I'm pretty sure that now, he's also obsessed.       

Imagine my surprise when he told me he hasn't even tried one. I thought he was insane for holding a whole box of cookies and having not even had one. Imagine having that kind of self-control. I could never.

Apparently, he wanted to share the experience with me and waited to eat his first one, so that we could eat them together. And now, I'm glad he did because the look on his face is priceless. I think I've created a monster. I think he might even like them more than I do, which says a lot.            

In the span of 15 minutes, we have successfully eaten more than half the cookies and I can literally feel myself developing diabetes.        

"Oh man, I can't anymore. I think I'm going to throw up," I announce and walk over to the couch to manspread on it.          

Blake comes around the couch and snorts when he sees me. Then proceed to sit right next to me, mimicking the same position. "I can barely breath and we ate the same amount. I have no idea where you fit all those cookies."             

I shrug, looking forward into oblivion, halfway into a food coma. Without ever breaking eye contact with the wall, I reach my hand out to grab the remote and throw it in Blake's general direction. "Put something on. I'm too lazy."       

He laughs and starts looking through Netflix. It's silent while he picks something out and then, out of nowhere, he asks me, "why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I roll my head to the side to look at him and squint my eyes, as if that will help me figure out why he just asked me that. After a few beats, his face isn't giving anything away, so I just throw his previous words back at him, "because I don't want one."    

"Why not?"             

I shrug in response, not really wanting to get into it, but he just keeps staring at me with a questioning gaze that's making me feel uncomfortable. So, I answer, "because boyfriends are for people who are looking to get married and start a family and have someone to spend the rest of their lives with. I'm don't want that and I'm not looking for that."    

"So what? You never plan to get married?"        

I scoff and answer, "never."          

"Why is that?"            

"Because marriage ruins everything. It's a fucking trap, I have no intention of falling into. People stop trying as hard because they know it's harder for their partner to walk away and just leave them, so everything just goes to shit."      

"Is that really what you think?"          

"It's not what I think, it's what I know. It's what happened to my parents, my grandparents and pretty much every other couple I've ever met. I have never seen a married couple that's truly happy. I have never seen another relationship and thought, I want that. Plus, I don't like kids and I don't want any. I'm not the kind of girl that dreamed about a fairy tale wedding and a white picket fence."