Phytoremediation

To love one from too far to call

Basil flopped onto the couch, exhausted from the fighting. He rubbed the impact point from where the BB hit. He winced.

I hope I'm good enough to protect Sunny...

Basil shook his head to clear his mind, and turned on the TV.

Some random show was on that Basil didn't care about, but there was something unusual at the bottom of the screen.

"Violent criminal recently seen in East Nearburgh. Black hair, average build, 190cm tall, blue eyes. Do not approach."

Basil thought back to the picture from the hospital. Sounded like Yuri, which should've been obvious as he was pretty much the only violent criminal loose in all of Guangdong.

Then, the whole "eastern Nearburgh" thing clicked. Basil wished he had a map of Nearburgh right now.

Please let me be in west Nearburgh...

The sky outside began to darken with nightfall, and Basil ran to the door and locked it. Just in case.

Basil nervously returned to the couch, and changed the channel. A serial killer documentary. Great.

He changed the channel again, but after seeing a certain well known horror shower scene, he decided the serial killer documentary might be better.

Instead of getting scared, Basil got invested. The story of how this serial murderer constantly evaded capture showed that the man was evidently some sort of genius, only being caught after an equally genius detective trailed him.

Somehow using the humidity in a room to determine when the killer had left, and using that to piece together everything.

"Wow... hope they can pull that off sooner than later with that Yuri creep." Basil muttered to himself.

Wait. Yuri...

Basil frantically looked to the window behind him. Nobody outside, obviously.

A cellphone buzz made Basil jump. It was a call from Mikhael causing the vibrations.

"What's up, The Maverick?" Basil asked.

"Quiet, quiet. The Maverick is in the closet." The Maverick responded.

"Huh? Why?" Basil said a bit quieter.

"The Shadow Cabal sent their newest assassain after me... I just heard him break the window. Bastard."

Basil could hear his breath shaking.

"What? Is this for real, The Maverick?"

"Yes, The Synthesizer. Don't tell The Daybreak I said this, but I am scared. This assassain's spiritual energy is tough, I may die."

"Shouldn't you call the police?" Basil asked fearfully.

"No, some of them are corrupted by The Shadow Cabal, plus it may just put innocent lives in danger. If this assassain can beat me, they could beat those policemen too." The Maverick proclaimed.

An unintelligible voice was heard distantly in Mikhael's phone.

"He's coming upstairs Basil! Should I try The Maverick Style on him?"

"What?"

"The Maverick Style! The KillerSprayᵗᵐ!"

Basil slapped his forehead in annoyance. "Just keep hiding!"

"You better not be hiding in your room." Yuri's voice echoed.

Mikhael's voice went unheard.

"Good, under the bed would be so lame." Yuri said emotionless.

"Where are you, Mr. Hero? Too scared to come fight me? Some powers. Hiding in the closet is pretty contrived too, by the way."

A door's creak followed by a loud slam was heard. A spray bottle's "psst" was heard, before a loud exclamation from Yuri was heard.

"You little shit! Fuck, augh..."

Mikhael's heavy breathing could be heard over the phone. "Basil, he- he fucking had an axe, Basil. I'm running over to your house, Basil."

"Wh- No! Don't come over here! What if he's following you?!" Basil asked urgently.

"I'm almost there, Basil. Basil I see your house." Mikhael said, ignoring Basil's inquiry.

"Mikhael, check behind you to see if he's following you!"

Mikhael pounding at the door followed this request.

Basil opened the door, looking over Mikhael's shoulder carefully. Just darkness.

Mikhael dashed inside. "Hey, Basil, I'm here, okay, alright."

"Basil... who's this?" Polly asked with concern.

"Mikhael... his house just got broken into... or his grandma's I guess."

"Grammy's out. 'Til tomorrow." Mikhael said, still in a daze.

"Should... did he call the police?" Polly asked with fear.

"No. You should... call..." Mikhael mumbled.

He shuffled towards the couch, as Polly dialed 911.

"What's the address?" Polly asked.

Mikhael appeared to suddenly enter a mania. "Ladies, ladies! There's enough of The Maverick to go around! Everyone can get their turn!"

He flipped his hair the same way he did when he had the wig.

"Mikhael, are you okay?" Polly worriedly.

"Holy moly! Would you look at that! Now that's a Maverick-level lady!" Mikhael said, staring at Polly, before he eagerly walked towards her, then walking into her breast and passing out on the floor.

"Uh..." Polly said, staring at Mikhael's smiling unconscious body, "is he usually like that?"

"It depends. Usually he doesn't pass out, though." Basil replied.

Polly continued to speak to the 911 operator, informing them of the event that had just transpired.

Basil, meanwhile, sat in a chair and began watching the front lawn like a hawk. Nothing ended up showing beyond the police and ambulance, thankfully.

"Do either of you know which house the breaking and entering happened in?" A policeman asked, as The Maverick's unconscious body popped a boner, to the paramedics' dismay.

Basil averted his eyes from Mikhael's unspecified sized bulge, and looked the policeman in the eyes. "Yeah, I can lead you there, as long as I'm not alone on the sidewalk."

Two policemen followed Basil to Mikhael's house. They soon arrived upon the scene. A broken window being the obvious sign of this being the right house.

"We can take it from here, buddy, thanks for the help." The policeman smiled at him.

Basil turned and ran home, terrified any shadow would suddenly reveal Yuri, standing and waiting for Basil with his axe raised.

Basil, fortunately, returned home unscathed, and went to bed very soon after.

I know Sunny should be sleeping fine, in spite of all this. He'd probably be thinking something like...