NCIS: Best Shots

Chapter Fifty-Six: Barracuda

The NCIS gang was once again hanging out at one of their favorite bars after closing a case. Ziva and Abby were laughing at a joke Tony had told when they felt someone come up behind them. Both women spun around on their stools to see a dark-haired man. He had a notepad and pen ready. Even before he spoke, the two women were eyeing him suspiciously, Ziva wondering if she could kill him with anything on-hand. Glancing around, she concluded that option was a no.

"Do you want something?" the newest addition to Team Gibbs asked the stranger bluntly. She didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"Yeah. You." His gaze flicked to Abby, then back to Ziva as he purred, "If your girlfriend doesn't mind."

McGee choked on his drink and DiNozzo pounded him on the back. When the coughing fit subsided, the junior agent gasped out, "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it."

Meanwhile, Abby's mouth had dropped open in shock and Ziva's eyes widened. Then a wicked gleam came to her eyes and she hopped off the stool, dragging the Goth behind her over to the karaoke machine nestled in the corner. After rifling through the song choices, the Israeli-American pressed Play.

The familiar guitar riff spread through the room and Ziva smirked at Abby. "You ready?"

She grinned. "Heck, yes." Picking up one of the mikes, she nodded to Ziva to go first.

An evil smile on her face, she did.

"So this ain't the end—I saw you again today

I had to turn my heart away

You smiled like the Sun—kisses for everyone

And tales—it never fails!

You lying so low in the weeds

I bet you gonna ambush me

You'd have me down down down down on my knees

Now wouldn't you, Barracuda?"

The guy hassling them immediately felt scared and Tony and Tim couldn't hide their grins. This was brilliant!

Abby, blue eyes mischievous, sang:

"Back over Time we were all trying for free

You met the porpoise and me, uh huh

No right no wrong you're selling a Song—a name

whisper game

If the real thing don't do the trick

You better make up something quick

You're gonna burn burn burn burn it to the wick

Ooooooh Barracuda"

After a brief instrumental, the two furious women sang in unison:

"'Sell me sell you' the porpoise said

Dive down deep down to save my head

You . . . I think that you got the blues too

All that night and all the next

Swam without looking back

Made for the western pools—silly silly fools!"

There was another instrumental. Eyes dancing with evil glee, Abby and Ziva set down the mikes and sauntered over to the poor guy who'd hit on the formidable Israeli. He was seriously regretting accusing them of being lesbian when they clearly weren't.

Meanwhile, Gibbs and Ducky were looking on with amused expressions, Palmer was cowering in fear, and McGee and DiNozzo were rocking out, Tony on drums and Tim on air guitar, grins plastered on their faces. The two agents hit every note with precise accuracy, making Abby wonder when they'd found time to play Rock Band or Guitar Hero.

At last, Ziva took up the last verse, making her wrath well known.

"If the real thing don't do the trick

No, you better make up something quick

You gonna burn burn burn burn it to the wick

Ooooooohhh, barra-barracuda"

Tim and Tony played the last few notes with a flourish before slapping hands with Abby and Ziva. "Great job, guys."

"Thanks," the Goth replied before turning to the reporter, hands on her hips. "Do you have anything to say for yourself? And I'll let you know that we'll know if you're lying, I can kill you without leaving a trace, and Ziva here is a former ninja Mossad assassin."

He gulped. "I'm sorry for what I said. I'll never come near you again. Promise."

Ziva exchanged a glance with Abby. "What do you think?"

Smirking, the forensic scientist fingered her spiky dog collar. "I don't know. He could be telling the truth, but kill him just in case."

"Gladly." Ziva's fingers reached for her backup knife.

The guy freaked. "No, don't! Seriously, I am. Please don't kill me."

Abby chuckled. "Man, we're just messing with you. You can go."

Looking half-scared of them, the man walked by slowly before breaking into a run, heading for the doors.

The whole NCIS team's laughter followed him out.

Honestly, who doesn't know this song? Well, take that back. A lot of my classmates don't. :( Ah, well. As you can probably tell, I used the story behind the song for this one, but I tweaked it a bit. :) This was really fun to write.