Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

P R O L O G U E | O N E

What does it mean to be at the beginning of the end?

How do you even know that it is the beginning of the end? Is it a feeling, a premonition or just a conjecture?

Honestly, I had no idea. There was this feeling, but it could also be an evil premonition or a conjection. But I knew it, something in me said that it was the beginning of the end. This was the beginning of the end. The moment I revealed my biggest secret to Lewis, showed him my weakest and most vulnerable side. That was the beginning of the end.

*

Damn, why does it have to hurt so much? Why did I even have to let this person so deep into my heart, even though I knew what kind of asshole he is? And why in this world, did I have to tell him about it, couldn't I just shut up?

Silence was the answer, fragile silence. My whimpering and sobbing had long since stopped. Hardly any sound managed it to climb up my throat anymore. All that remained was the hollow pain in my chest when I thought about that evening. Nothing more.

The renewed light-up of my phone display made me briefly dive up from my sea of thoughts. The sea where I've been drowning for days, but I just didn't manage to escape it. I was too weak. Too weak to finally let go, too weak to finally look forward and leave behind what lays in the past. Lewis, what was between us, and my mother. I thought about her, still, and every thought hurt in a certain way. But I always had them with me. When I looked in the mirror, I saw her.
I am her.
Even if I don't look like her at first glance, we had more in common than you might think. Because I had her heart. I had inherited her illness, whose stupid name I keep forgetting, but I carried it within me. I would perish from the same fate as her, and probably even earlier. I would die if I didn't get a new heart,
Just like her.

Tears ran over my cheeks again as I flew over Lewis' message. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why does he have to scatter more and more salt in the gaping wound? I just didn't understand. I didn't understand him. First he takes advantage of me like a cheap slut, and then he really wants to talk to me and apologise. That was ridiculous...

So as not to rotten any further in my room, I went down and didn't really intend to meet my father. But how do you say it so appropriately... It's too good to be true? That's exactly what it was, too good to be true...

I rolled my eyes when I heard my name calling out of the living room. „Where are you going?" My dad kept asking, his voice echoed on the walls of our house. How empty it suddenly felt, the more our relationship gains on distance... I didn't tell him anything anymore about my life. Not even that with Lewis.
But of course I knew that he knew something was wrong. He wasn't that stupid, and I had never been the guy in favour of squatting in the room all day. Usually there is always something I do or where I am. Dancing, in the city, or just walking. But since that evening, which was less than a week ago, I couldn't do all this anymore. I couldn't get myself to do anything anymore, except lie in bed and feel sorry for myself. And even my father, who was already preparing for the next race, did not let this go unnoticed.

A begging undertone had crept into his voice. At that moment I was really sorry and I wondered if it's wrong to him to keep him out of my life like that? I mean, he is still my father and... Oh, if it only were that simple...

Someone clearing their throat tore me out of my thoughts. „Don't worry, Dad." I gave him a smile in the hope that he wouldn't see how much I had to force myself to do it. „I'm going for a walk now. See you later."

When I opened the door, the summer wind danced through my hair and I took a deep breath. Without a real plan where to go I ran. I passed the large avenue of trees, where I met the two policemen. I passed this fence, where I got the concussions and some other injuries, and finally I was at the meadow, which was always the place of my friends and me. The last time we were here was in May. Now it was the end of August and the grasses reached up to my thighs.

Flowers bloomed in the most beautiful colours and butterflies chased themselves in front of my nose. How could something be so beautiful and depressing at the same time? I really wondered that while I ran towards the fireplace where we sat the last time. In front of my inner eye I saw ourselves laughing joyfully and sitting around the flames. I heard our laughter as my fingers gently brushed over the tall grass, and I felt the goosebumps when I thought back to the cool evening air we had inhaled that night.

Everything was so peaceful, so quiet, and so I settled on a low tree trunk. My gaze flew around, I was surrounded by nothing but forests, fields and this meadow. No annoying noises from any cars and nothing else that would be disturbing in any way.
At least that was the case until my phone started ringing again and destroyed this tranquillity.

————————————————
So my friends, here is the first chapter to the second part of Toxic Love... I hope you like it, if so, please let me know your thoughts about it <3

However, see youuu <3