Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

S E V E N T E E N

A good hour later, the Drivers Parade should begin. Lewis and I were almost late because we spent too long with the buffet at the MotorHome instead of looking at the clock. Valtteri was already there when we arrived at the car in which we should drive a lap around the track.

When I entered the car, the fear in me increased. I still didn't know why I was sitting here at all now, but at these moments every answer seemed pretty ridiculous to me. I simply didn't care, because all I could think about at the moment was that I wanted to leave. I had the feeling that the full spectator ranks would fall on us, get closer and closer and crush me.

I had never really realised how many people come together on such a weekend. And I still couldn't. The view towards the fans was unreal, somehow incomprehensible.

I woke up from my trance when someone nudged me from the side. „Everything okay?" I nodded to Lewis' question and tried to swallow the ever thicker growing lump in my throat. Maybe the whole thing wasn't a good idea...? I pushed the doubts aside when Lewis crossed his fingers with mine and smiled.
This was the right decision, for sure...

While the Mercedes drove over the racetrack, we waved to all the fans who cheered incessantly. And suddenly it was very simple. With Lewis by my side, even the biggest hurdle seemed to be very small. I needed him, and this was a moment when I realised that. If he was with me, I could do anything, I was sure. He gave me security, the feeling of having someone to take care of me. Heaven - this man is so goddamn toxic to me...

Unfortunately, we didn't have any more time after the parade to enjoy the Sunday. Preparations for the race were in full swing, and the tension was great. I was all the happier when the race finally began. Lewis was able to keep his first place, which was won yesterday, continuously and thus led the group. Further back there was more to the point. While former teammates Charles and Seb fought a duel for fifth place, Max took the gap and advanced to third place. And the rest is history.

„AND IT'S LEWIS HAMILTON WHO WINS THE BELGIAN GRAND PRIX!" The moderator yelled, his voice urges effortlessly through my headset. I was so happy, so infinitely proud of him, and I would like to have him with me at that moment. Somehow that was special, this here...

„Liv." His voice urged against my ear. It was a little distorted by the micro, and yet it sounded as soft as always. „I love you. Let's make it official." Then silence. The feelings of happiness overwhelmed me like an avalanche, he meant it seriously, really. I ignored the more or less confused looks of the rest of the people who just heard this and tried to somehow grasp myself. But I didn't bring out more than a vague „yes". My voice trembled, not only with happiness. I was also afraid, really afraid. I was afraid of the masses of people who then knew about this part of our lives. But I also knew that I wasn't alone. Lewis was with me, just like before, and he would protect me...

People were already standing close around the gang that separated us from the first three cars, and I had problems getting forward at all. When I made it, I saw Lewis. The Briton got out of his car, was cheered and then went to the gang, where he got some hugs and congratulations from the team. Then he was with me. I had tears in my eyes, which I would normally have been embarrassed about, but not this time. I didn't care, I only saw him.

And suddenly everything became quiet. The world around us sank into recognition with all its colours and shapes when he took my face in his hands and kissed me. Loving and at the same time so passionate that it completely overwhelmed me. This was the moment, it was our moment and I was overjoyed.

Suddenly I had forgotten that there was so much that should have made me sad. Suddenly, all the negative thoughts and worries had disappeared, swallowed up in the dark infinity. But not him, he was still there. And I hoped that he would be forever.

„I love you, Livia." He breathed against my lips as we broke loose. I loved him too, more than anything else in this world.
Unfortunately, our common moment ended before I could really realise it. While Lewis gave his interview, I was already back in the garage, where I let myself be clumped on one of the free chairs. „You and Lewis?" One of the pit crew members asked and laughed. I nodded exhausted. „Seems like..." My words came out as a slight laugh, because I couldn't really believe it myself. Lewis and I, somehow that didn't fit. Maybe it was just funny, because it was the last thing I expected... Most of the time I would probably have preferred to see him as a dead man, but now it is both of us, together, that's really crazy!