A Mafia's Possession(Completed)

Chapter 71

RAPHAEL

     I stared at Nicole's sleeping profile with guilt written all over my face.
When she fell unconscious this evening, I carried her in my arms and took her to her room.

  I was tempted to take her to our room but I know it would be selfish of me. I wanted to respect her wishes and earn her love back.

  I can't even begin to explain how I've been feeling these past couple of days. Some days I hate myself and I can't help but feel so enraged at how I fell prey into the motherfucking hands of those Russians.
  Other days I just break down in tears, wondering if Nicole would ever forgive me for the way I treated her.

  Hell, I can't even forgive myself. I can't even stare at myself in the mirror.
Because whenever I spot the tiniest reflection of myself, all I see is a murderer and a beast, one who lacks compassion and empathy.

  I literally tortured my own wife in a cellar whilst the real enemies like Leila, walked about freely.
It all still feels like a horrible dream to me, one I was begging to be awoken from.

  I can't help but realise that if I didn't meet Nicole half dead that fateful day I planned on killing her, I probably would have gone ahead to kill her myself.

  Fuck. I'm so grateful I didn't. I would not be able to live again. The guilt and pain would kill me within a week.

Nothing felt right anymore. I was dying to correct my wrongs but Nicole wasn't giving me the chance to do so.

She whispered that she hated me right before she passed out.

  That sentence kept on replaying in my head and whenever it did, it stung my heart with deep pains.

    I feel like crying right now. I can't believe how sour our relationship has become.

  There was a time when Nicole craved for my presence, when she loved sleeping in my arms and just the thought of me got her smiling but now, reverse is the case.

She spites me. Infact I repulse her to the bone and she hates everything about me.

  It is evident in her eyes whenever she stares at me. I can see nothing but the flames of hatred burning in her eyes for me.

  I would not blame her. I deserve it all. Her hatred and distance from me, I deserved it to be honest but still I was going to stop at nothing till I win back her trust and love.

  I don't care how long it takes me to win back her love. I'm willing to wait for as long as she wants me to wait.

  A fist of cough broke from Nicole's lip which stirred her out of her slumber and also snapped me out of my reverie.

  I quickly poured her a glass of water from a jug as her coughing continued.

  I'm sure her vision was still kind of blurry as her eyes were squinted so I attempted to feed her the water when Nicole roughly pushed my hand away causing the glass to fall onto the tiled floor and spill it's watery content.

"Nicole please...." I attempted to speak to her but she hoisted her hands at me.

"What are you doing in my room?" She asked, anger lace in her tone.

  "I brought you in here when you passed out downstairs. I'm sure you must be starving by now. Let me go get you dinner ok" I attempted to soothe her anger when Nicole got up from the bed.

"Get out Raphael" she ordered. I followed her and stood up too, my eyes pleading with hers to let me stay.

"Just let me stay with you please. I won't say a word I promise"

My heart was groaning and I could literally break down right now.

"Why do you want to stay with me? To finish your mission? To kill me? Huh? Is that your plan?" She spat at me, her blood shot gaze shattering my heart into smithereens.

  "No..no..no that's not it I swear. I promise I don't want to kill you Nicole. Stop staying that. It hurts me to hear you think I want to end your life. I don't. I love you Nicole" my voice came as a silent plea but it seem to enrage Nicole more.

"Do you know what love is Raphael? No tell me, have you ever truly been inlove with somebody?"she spat.

"Yes. I love you Nicole. I'm willing to right all my wrongs, I'm willing to wait for as long as you want me to wait until I earn back your love. I know I did terrible things to you. And I'm deeply sorry Nicole..." my voice broke as I spoke.

Nicole already had tears brewing in her eyes and she pressed her lips in tightly.

"It hurts me to the bone whenever I think of all the things I did to you. I can't even face myself in the mirror because I hate myself. I'm really sorry, deeply sorry. All I need is your forgiveness please. I know it won't be easy to forgive me just like that but I'm willing to work for it.  If only you would just give me a chance to redeem myself please" I pleaded with her.

  Nicole had already started sobbing and she downcasted her gaze.
"Raphael please just get the fuck out of my room" she whispered without glancing up.

"Get out now!" She yelled, flicking her orbs to mine. "You didn't know you loved me before you had me locked up and tortured in that cellar? Get out!"

  I attempted to walk towards her but she instantly pushed me back, her chest was heaving repeatedly and her orbs were heated like a burning inferno.

"Nicole please just give me..."

Nicole quickly shook her head at me whilst her forefinger was pointed at the door. "Out" she ordered.

"Principessa I just need you to let me stay with you please. I won't say a word I promise" I almost cried.

  My nerves had become a wreckage and my feelings were currently a roller coaster of emotions.

"Get out! Don't you understand English!" Nicole yelled the more, throwing pillows at me.

"Fine Bella. If that's what you want I'll go ok. For now. I'll go call Aurora to come serve you dinner" I gave in.

"The door is right there. Just leave" she spat.

  I pivoted dejectedly and meandered out of her room.
I wasn't going to back down though. I am going to win her love back even if I have to die doing so.