As...Her

18.

WAS I SURE?

This question keeps poping up inside my head. What was i going to do with this question. Maybe i seriously need to see the doctor. I have never considered it before but now i feel that i'm seriously going crazy. These dreams are really getting in my head now. I have to make myself clear about real and reel.
I finished my college work and made the notes. And read some books to take my mind off the things that happened. Next morning i decided to visit the doctor.
'Yes after college i will go there'. My inner goddess was not happy with the decision. She wasn't talking to me right now. But to keep both of us sane it was necessary. With the usual routine i got up and took the bus with Shine. We reached the college. The department looked busy today. We were gathered in a group conference. We were giving topic to prepare for the presentation and were to divided in a group. Seniors and juniors. My group had three grils incuding me and two boys. The leader of the group wasn't here.
I checked the room to see in which group Shine has landed. Then a voice came

"Sorry...there was an urgent matter that needed my presence". He took the seat just opposite mine. And my mind went blank. He was saying something but my all senses were fixed on his eyes. Then my inner goddess slapped me and i came back to the room. A hand was extended in front of me.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"No...Yes...i mean, I'm alright. Hi ...i'm Mishti. Masters first year". I said and took his hand. A warmth flooded in me and my anxiety vanished. My inner goddess was drooling by now. She was doing cartwheels by now. Although I could barely bend in reality.

"Hello! I'm Advaya. Masters last year. I want u to lead the group".

"It's alright... Teachers chose u to lead. Let's go! we have lot of work to do".

We started the preparation and were going with speed. In between i stole glancing and our eyes met at the same time and i looked away. This is getting tough and it's overwhelming. Somehow our one days preparation completed and we said bye and to update each other in Chat group.
I started looking for Shine...i was avoiding the conversation. Why?? I don't know. But right now i want to just leave this room. Shine was busy so i took off to washroom and i was trembling from head to toe. With shaking hands i opened the tap splashed the cool water on my face and instantly i felt relief. Shine entered and was telling me about her group being dumb how she had to do all the work.

"What happened?? Are you okay?"

"I'm Fine ....i guess".

"You look pale ... something happened... right??".

"Yes...He is here ...and in front of me. And i have no idea what am i supposed to do?"

"Okay!. First calm down...try to breathe". I noded at her and we left the bathroom and we were in the canteen. I ordered hot chocolate to relax. Then my cell poped qith notification.
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"Hi ! It's nice to see you in person and let's  keep seeing eachother 😊."
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My stomach give a pull and knots started forming inside. What was this reaction. And what does this mean. In person? Does he know?? How??
We got up and were heading for the next lecture when he passed by me and give me a Smile. And goodness how can a smile be so intoxicating. I smiled back.
And my inner goddess was floating on the seventh cloud. At least she was talking to me now. Something good came out of that.
Who knows what future holds for me but one thing was confrim that i was going to see this smile more often. The thought made me giggle. Which i shrugged it off and entered the class for my Lecture.