Forever and always

Chapter thirty-nine

Charles's pov:
January 2022

Daniel and Max had just left, and Olivia and I were now alone again.. I walked into the living room after I had been in the bedroom for a while, leaving the three of them alone..

"How are you, love?" I asked and walked over to her. "I feel terrible, Charles. Terrible!" she said and looked down at the floor. "Talk to me, let me help you" I said and sat next to her.
"But that's the point, there's nothing to do.. I'm just so mad and devastated!" she said and had a few tears in her eyes.. "I know, it's not fair what's happening!".. "No it's not, and it's my fault everything. I failed this pregnancy, I feel like I took away our baby's life.." she said..
"You did not, and please Olivia you have to understand that these things happen, unfortunately it happened to us and there's nothing you could have done, it's not your fault!" I said, but she wouldn't listen.. "Please, I can't handle this right now.. can we talk tomorrow?" she said and finally looked at me. "Sure..." I said when she got up from the couch. "I'm here for you, remember that! I love you" I said. "I know" she smiled back and walked into the bedroom.. I didn't go in there for a while, not until I knew she fell asleep.
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The next morning I woke up and Olivia wasn't by my side, so I got up from bed and walked into the kitchen and living room, she wasn't there.. "Olivia?" I asked. "I'm in here.." she said, she was in the bathroom sitting on the bathroom floor with her head into her knees..
I sat next to her and held her close. "It's gone for real now.." she said crying, and turned her head to look at me. "Aw love, why didn't you wake me?" I asked. I felt quite sad when she told me, now the fetus was really gone, and she wasn't pregnant anymore. What would have been our child, was now gone, gone forever..

"I don't know why I didn't wake you up," she said. "We're in this together, so please don't let me out, I'm also sad this happened. I know it happened to you and your body, but no one asked how I'm feeling" I said and I could feel a few tears approaching.
"Then how are you feeling?" she asked and got up from the bathroom floor. "I feel everything, but nothing. It's like something was stolen from me" I said and got up as well.
We continued the talk in the living room..

"I'm sorry for asking, but don't you feel a little bit relieved? Honestly Charles, you didn't want this baby anyway.." she said and those words really hit me, I know she's going through a lot emotionally as well, but I couldn't believe she was asking me this. What does she think I am? Heartless?

"Of course I don't Olivia, I'm not heartless, this was also my child!" I said. "Yeah I'm aware of that, I- I just can't Charles.. I can't handle more of this arguing, things haven't been the same since we found out, and you know it.." she said.
"Stop it, I love you I really do, we're just going through a hard time right now and-" .."It's not just that, I love you as well. But be honest, you only came back to me after the break because you felt responsible that I was pregnant right?" she interrupted me, before I could continue talking.

"I came back because I love you, and because you mean the world to me. The baby was a bonus, I just had to proceed with the news, I was really starting to look forward to becoming a dad, and to start a family with you" I said and looked at her, I couldn't read what she was thinking.
"Even when things feel like forever, maybe things aren't just meant to be, I'm sorry" she said.. "Are you really saying what I think you're saying?" I asked..
"I'm saying I need time to find myself after this, I need time to be just Olivia.. I can't be with you anymore, I love you forever, but I just can't do this anymore" she said and in that moment my heart broke in pieces.

"Olivia, don't do this. We need each other.. Is this really the end of everything, the end of every moment we had together and the end of our endless love?" I asked, looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'll move my things as soon as I can" she said and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.