Fall Apart- R.J.L

Moody Moony

A successful moony cheering up party it must be said , '76
— Lily

Sirius antics and their results '76
— Teddy

Marlene, Frank, Teddy and Moony '76
— Lily

Theo's Perspective

Friday came sooner than expected. one minute I was sitting in Potions trying not to fall asleep and the next I was swaying, slightly tipsy, in the middle of the Gryffindor common room.
"You alright Tee?" Lily shouts slightly to be heard over the loud jumble of teens.
" Yeah all good!" I give her a thumbs up. Have you seen Remus? I can't find him anywhere, this party is supposed to be for him!"
Lily looks at me slyly "Remus huh? Wonder why you're lookin for him?"
"What?"
" Oh nothing, last I saw he was over on the couch with James and Sirius."
"Uh, cool thanks Lils" I kiss her cheek and wander off to look for Moony.

I've barely seen him since the party started. In his defence I am quite drunk and I was dancing with Alice and Marlene for most of the night. Alice was dragged off by Frank however and Marlene followed Dorcas out and they're probably off somewhere snogging. Which is why I am now alone making my way through the crowd of rowdy Gryffindors.

I find Sirius stretched out across the couch with his a Hufflepuff girl sitting on his lap sharing her cigarette with him and sipping on firewhiskey.
"Hey! Padfoot have you seen Moony?"
"Hm?" He says in a drunken haze "uh yeah he went to get some air I don't know where though.... Why??? You lookin for some Moony action tonight Teddy bear????"
"Ew jesus you're drunk Sirius, and no help. Have fun."

I give him a salute and move to the outskirts of the crowd to try and see if I can see Remus. To be honest I don't know why I'm so dead set on finding him but I've put my head to something and my drunken brain hasn't really taken in the reasoning. Several couples are shoved into corners or pressed up against walls around me, eating each others faces off. I find myself praying one of them won't be Remus. I mean, I have no right to be thinking like that He's not mine. If he wants to snog some random person at a party that's his choice. Usually that's what I'd be doing. But still, I get a pit in my stomach at the thought of him pressing some other girl against a wall, his lips on hers...

It's hot in here, really hot.The air is sticky and thick with smoke. I crave a cigarette of my own but my pack is empty and the dense air is giving me a headache, or perhaps it's an oncoming hangover. Either way, I close my eyes, turn my head to the window next to me and press my forehead to the cool glass. It feels nice and my headache isn't so blaring. I open my eyes again and that's when I see him. Sitting on the window ledge with a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. I pick up my own cup of current wine and lift up the window.

"Hey Moony."
" Oh shit Jesus, Teddy you scared me."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump. I've been lookin all over for you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm..."
"And why would that be?" He questions with a bit of a smirk, taking a drag and passing it to me. I puff on the cigarette and let it fill up my lungs, my throat, my mouth. I imagine how his lips taste right now. A mix of beer and smoke. Utterly delectable.
"It's your party silly." I exhale and laugh.
He lets out a laugh too.
" Right yeah, Sirius informed me. Thanks for this. I needed a distraction."
"I know."
He stares at me. His eyes wide, glistening in the night with that slight sadness. I stare back and shuffle closer to him.
"It's freezing out here."
"It's too warm in there."
" You're not wrong. But we should go inside, come on you owe me a dance."
"I can't dance Teddy."
"Oh now Moony we all know that's a lie."
"Right... Look I just needed a break from all of that for a minute okay? You uh... You go inside, enjoy yourself. I'm sure there are plenty of lads in there dying to dance with you."

Silence.
Why is he pushing me away.
I thought he...
Maybe not.

"I don't really..." I whisper.
"Hm?" He looks questioningly. He looks hurt, strained, like this whole night has been painful for him. Like this conversation is painful. Like I'm..
"I don't want to dance with anyone else Remus." I breathe out, barely audible, but those werewolf ears don't miss a thing.
"Teddy...I can't"
"Why not? Seriously Remus? I organised this whole night for you because you've been acting all soppy ever since... Well...I don't know. Is it something I did?"
"No! Teddy no! You did nothing you did fucking nothing okay that's... That's just it isn't it? You don't...you don't feel... Look let's just leave it okay."
"Remus I care about you, please just talk to me. You're... I...You're my best friend Remus. My very best friend. I feel like I'm losing you. I love you I can't cope without you I cant-"

"STOP! JUST FUCKING STOP IT! YOURE MY BEST FRIEND??? SERIOUSLY??? THATS WHAT WE ARE? THATS ALL WE ARE?"
"Remus I-"
"No please just... Just stop it."
"I don't know what I've done."
"Nothing, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have shouted."
"No, you shouldn'tve"
"You just- God Teddy you drive me insane."
"I'm sorry I'll uh, I'll just go."
I turn to crawl back through the window but Remus catches my hand. He pulls me back next to him wraps his arms around me.
"I'm sorry Teddy. I know you're trying to make things better it's just- well you know me. Moody Moony isn't that what you all call me."
"Mhm yeah" I laugh. "I get it if you want space I just wish you'd tell me what's upsetting you."
"Nothing, everything, I'm just stressed really. I'm fine. And I don't want space from you Teddy, ever"
"Good, cause your cuddles are by far the best."
"Oh yeah?"He brightens up and grins widely.
"Yeah." I say softly and lean my head on his shoulder. He holds me tightly with one arm and lights the new cigarette in his mouth. He must have put out the other one, or dropped it. We stay like that for a while. Smoking and drinking and taking in the stars. Nothings said. Nothing really needs to be said. Theres a quiet understanding between us.

That quiet is broken quite suddenly by Marlene mickinonns head being thrown backwards out a window as she's held back by a group of Gryffindors.
"OOPS!!" she shouts, clearly rather intoxicated. "THINK WE INTERRUPTED A MOMENT HERE BOYS LETS BACK IT UP!"
Remus and I both laugh at our idiot friends and head back into the wild chaos of the party.