Nothing lasts forever
Like the moon Theodora Malfoy's light can only last so long. When the sun comes up, and the war divides her friends and family, she may have to face her fears.
This is a book of love and of loss.
marauders
Remus Lupin x femOC...
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Remus' POV
I don't know when, or how, but at somepoint I made it back to my dorm room. My mind was still swimming with thoughts of Theodora. Little did I know she wasn't.
How could she do that to me? Withhold the last words my mother ever wrote to me and keep it a secret. Not to mention the cheating with Regulus, the emotional trauma she caused me. I mean every time I get mad she just gets upset and makes me feel bad. Guilt tripping me into forgiving her. Not this time. This time I'm done with her bullshit. If she wants me back she needs to truly apologise and tell me the truth. I can't stand all her fucking lies.
Do I feel bad about what I said to her? Yes... A little...okay a lot. I feel horrible. But I needed her to leave me alone. It seemed like the only way. I knew she wouldn't be able to stand the sight of me anymore if I said all of that. And some of it was true. But some of it very much wasn't. I do love her. I've always loved her. I never stopped loving her. It's true though, that it's gotten harder to love her then it was when they were kids.
I've seen all of her now, all of her ugliness, all of her sadness, her trauma, her pain. I used to think that I had the most pain of all my friends. And yes maybe that's true physically, but I've realised I'm not alone in my pain. Sirius, James, Theodora they're all in such pain. All the time. I guess I shouldn't feel so sorry for myself. But I can't help it. None of them know what it's like to be ripped apart month after month. To be caged up and want to teat yourself to pieces.
I fall into bed at some ungodly hour and sleep washes over me. Only to be woken with a jolt by a distraught Sirius. "Remus, Remus wake up. Remus cmon it's urgent." "Fuckin hell Pads what time is it?" "5am." "This better not be fucking quidditch pra-" "It's Teddy."
I think somehow I knew. The moment he woke me. I knew it was her. I knew something had happened. I sent her away. The only person to ever love her, to take her in and adore her, the only person to protect her wholeheartedly, sent her away. I abandoned her. I sent her to her death.
"What's happened?" I whisper, not daring to speak any louder for fear my shaking voice would give me away. "She's missing." I breathed a sigh of relief. Not dead yet.
"What?" "She didn't come back last night. No one can find her." "Have you checked the map?" "She had it." "Fuck." "Yeah." "Um okay, give me one second." I leapt out of bed and threw on my boots and cloak over my dress shirt and trousers from the night before. I looked horrendous but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered except finding her. I couldn't be responsible for her death. I couldn't let her die. Not after everything.
Sirius and I raced out of Gryffindor tower towards the grounds. "Where are we going?" Sirius asked as they ran. "Our spot." "Which is?" "By the lake." "Okay, yeah okay."
