Fall Apart- R.J.L

perfection implodes

Theodora's perspective

Classes have been fuckin awful. I never knew how much damage missing three weeks could do to my education, I'm behind in everything and I don't know if I'll ever catch up. Remus has been attempting to tutor me but to be honest nothing's really working. I've sort of resigned myself to the knowledge that school is not for me, as much as I used to be good at it, I just fucking hate it. I want to get out of here, I want to start my music career properly, I want to travel the world. This fucking war is probably going to prevent that. We're all probably going to die, but hey I've almost done that once already, it's not that bad, it's the living that hurts.

Remus has been truly wonderful, he tries so hard to help me, to be there for me. I know sometimes I hurt him when I bottle everything up, there are some things though...things I wish I could tell him.. things I'm too afraid to say. I know that he can tell I'm hiding something, but it's easier to avoid it, to tell white lies. I can't tell him. I have to tell him. But I can't.

"How's the essay for Slughorn goin?" Remus asks casually as we trail around the library, skimming the titles of the books.
"It's getting there, your notes are great it's just weird not working off of my own notes. I used to be top of the class and now I'm practically failing."
"You are not failing okay? You're just catching up, it's okay to need some time to get back into things. No teacher is going to fail you for needing a little bit more time."
"It's not even that it's just that I'm so disinterested! I just don't give a shit about any of it anymore. I just want to get out of this place."
"I get it, school can suck sometimes."
"Oh sureee Mr.Perfect Prefect, I'm sure you understand not liking school. You love school Remus, don't act like you don't."
"Okay fine, I do love it here. But that doesn't mean I can't understand how someone might not enjoy it as much as I do. School can be stressful and difficult and classmates can be horrid. I can understand that Ted's."
"Yeah...it's horrid."
"Sometimes...not all the time though, some things are good right?" He looks at me expectantly, a slight smirk twitching at his lips.
"I guess..." I grin.
"Hm, maybe I'll just have to prove it to you" his voice lowers as he leans above me, his arm above my head as he cages me against the shelves.
"Maybe you will." I whisper in his ear. And he leans down pressing a kiss to the spot just under my ear, sucking slightly and causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach. I gasp slightly and my eyes flutter shut, I tangle my fingers in his hair as his hand grips my hip.

"Welllll, quite the steamy scene here Theodora." I snap out of my lust filled trance immediately at the teasing tone of Mulciber's voice.
"Leave me alone Mulciber." I say through gritted teeth.
"Oh cmon now Theo, don't give me that, you know you can deny what we had-"
"She told you to leave her alone Mate." Remus jumps in, holding me behind him protectively.
"Does she want me to go, or is it you? Huh Lupin? You jealous?"
"Why the fuck would I be jealous of you Mulciber?"
"Well...I got your bitch didn't I? She did tell you didn't she? I mean she must have. It wouldn't be right. I must admire the fact you're still with her, I mean if she were my girlfriend I would've dumped the little slut-"
"Fuck you Mulciber!"
"Your bitch already did." Mulciber smirks and anger bubbles in my stomach as tears prickle in my eyes.
Fuck.
A sudden *THWACK* pulls me from my panic and I see Mulciber laying on the floor clutching his jaw as Remus shakes out his hand.
"Oh fuck Remus!" I grab his hand and pull him back, he resists at first but then gives in and allows me to drag him out of the library before we can be caught.
He could be in big trouble for assaulting another student. Although it's not like Mulciber didn't deserve it.