"Boo!" Hadley said, laughing as Maury's feet lifted off the ground.
"Where in heaven's name did you get that awful looking mask?" Maury asked.
"Gotcha good, didn't I? Ain't it a beaut!" Hadley said. "Cost me a fortune, but it's worth it. At least, I think it is. And Anna will be pleased to know, it's the first thing I've ordered off the Internet.
Anna's my techno guru, you know. She helped me out with Harry's video camera, and she's showing me the ropes of modern communication via the World Wide Web. I'm that librarian's star pupil, Maury!"
"Aren't you a little old to be a star pupil of anything?"
"Nonsense. Lifelong learner, that's me! And I'm learning a lot, Maury. Anna's a great teacher, and she really knows her stuff. She still hasn't convinced me to give up my flip phone, though.
Not that she hasn't given it her best shot. She's got some really convincing arguments, but I'm not budging. Gotta take a stand on some things. Besides, I like that little bugger. It fits real nice in my skinny jeans."
"You don't own any skinny jeans, Sis," Maury said.
"Well, if I did," Hadley said, "it would fit just fine in them. Can you see me in skinnies? With my thighs? Nightmare on my street. But I do love that little phone. I keep telling Anna I don't want to be tied down to a battery charger every few hours. And I do looove this mask, too. I think it's the real me. What do you think?"
"I think it's atrocious," said Maury. "Absolutely horrible! If I could think of any other words besides horrendous, terrible, outlandish, incredible monstrosity, ghoulish, and just plain ugly, I'd be sure to tell you. I can't believe you spent your hard-earned cash on it! Hadley, it's just about the most repulsive thing I ever saw in my whole life. You look like Canute Goosey."
"Old Canute was about as homely as a mud fence," Hadley said. "I'll take that as a compliment. But only while I'm wearing this mask!"
"You're gonna be up there on the porch of The Band-Aid with Hobie and the Speckled Pups," Maury said, "and you're gonna look like somethin' the dog dragged up!"
"Oh, I will not. This thing kinda grows on you, Maury."
"Like bathtub mold."
"Oh, hush up. It's not that bad. Besides, Hobie likes it. He said it reminded him of a third or fourth cousin from Arkansas!"
"Boy, I bet that was a twisted family branch."
YOU ARE READING
Nobody Can Say It's You
Mystery / ThrillerA monster is running down Main Street! An old mountain hermit, dressed as Death, drops dead at a Halloween festival in Hope Rock County. Nobody knows why. But mysterious forces are at work on the Appalachian ridges. Granny witches and the Ancients...
