Nobody Can Say It's You

14

"Cal was good, though. Like I said. He was up on that stool with that teeny spotlight shinin' off his bald head, so purty," said Lou Edna. "Needed my sunglasses from where I was sittin', but brother, did he sound good. He was putting a twangy heartbreak ending on 'Lonesome Honky-Tonk Lover'.

"You know that's my all-time favorite song of his. And my beer mug was empty so I decided to call it a night. I went out to the parking lot. 

It always gives me the creeps, you know. It looks like after all these years in business, Sadie would spring for a better setup.

That gravel lot is right next to the woods, and the lighting ain't worth writin' home about. You can hardly see your hand in front of your face on a full moon night!

Anyway, like I said, I was out in that spooky old lot out back behind Sadie's, and I heard somethin' in them woods. 

If she ain't got about the thickest tree line around her place, I don't know who has. It's like a dern jungle back there.

There was somethin' heavy-footed walkin' 'round out there. I was prayin' it was just a deer. Lord knows, I was not in the mood to meet Big Foot.

But it didn't bound off in the woods like one, you know?

That got me thinkin' and worried, more than a little bit, I mean to tell you. Them footsteps kept getting' louder 'n' louder. I didn't know whether to scream 'n' try to scare whatever it was off, say I had a gun pointed its way, or what. 

The gun thing would have been a lie, but if it was Man and not beast out there in them woods, I thought the gun lie was my best bet. You know my little purse is silver and in that dim light, I thought I just might pull it off.

By that time, my heart was in my throat, and wouldn't you know it!"

'What!" said Hadley.

"I dropped my car keys!" said Lou Edna. "Can you believe that! Of all the dumb luck, not to mention what a time to get the clumsy fingers. I just wanted to sit in that dirt lot 'n' start bawlin', but I was so afraid, I could hardly catch my breath.

Anyway, I fumbled with them keys.

Dropped them darn things right there in the dark! I was fit to be tied! I was cussin' 'n' crawlin' around, mad as all get out 'cause I dirtied up the knees of my best jeans, 'n' I just knew I was gonna meet my Maker if I didn't find them things quick!

It felt like I hunted around for them for years, but I fin'ly found 'em. Broke two nails in the process. Lord knows what my hair looked like by then. I don't even want to think about it. I was really in a state!

"Like I said, I finally brushed up against the darn things, and I snatched onto them for all I was worth. I grunted and fin'ly got up from my knees.

"When I stood up, who do you think I was lookin' at, right square in the eyes?"