𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻 𝗘𝗻𝗱

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟭: When you told me the whole story, I felt like throwing up

JJ leads me out the car, him lightly gripping my arm as he drags my tense form towards the house. Quickly, Elliot comes running out, the phone up to his ear as he says, "Blake, she here."

He drops the phone before grabbing the other side of my arm, nodding to JJ as he whispers him something before, he jumps back into the car. Elliot attempts to walk me inside before I push him off, running to the bathroom and locking the door as he knocks slowly on the other side. "Cass..."

My hand covers my mouth as I sob into it. My chest feels as if it's about to cave from the deep cold feeling that takes over my lungs. Guilt.

I strip standing in the shower, my body felt so cold, the hot water not making any difference. All the blood washing from my hands and face. I had her blood on face- my chin begins to wobble as I hold my hand together seeing her blood on my stained hands.

I scrub my body, hoping to get rid of the feeling of his hands off my body. To get his hands of my dirty body. His murderous hands off my dirty, guilty body.

___

I walk out the bathroom, a pair of boxes and t-shirt being my only sense of warmth as I slump into his bedroom, throwing myself onto his bed as I ignore the voices of Elliot and Blake.

I face the wall, attempting to keep my distance as they continue to talk to me. "Casey, what happened?" Blakes soft voice filled my ears as she pulled me to face, he, shock covering her face as I throw myself across the bed away from her. Landing on my hand I gasp in pain, watching both their eyes fly to my cut which I cradle. "You'll only hurt them." Rafe's words filled my ears as I pushed them both away, laying back down, quickly falling into a light sleep.

___

Watching as he covers his nose in pain, I take the distraction and jump up, running for the door. However, I dont get far before his hand wraps around my ankle, dragging me to the floor as I smash my face on the carpeted floor, my nose now matching his. I quickly scramble up- not wanting to relive my past moments when I didnt fight back- as I watched him mirror me, but with a dark look in his eyes.

Seeing that I wont be able to outrun him I realise my only chance to get out is to injure him enough so I could have time to get out. I run at him, pinning him to the wall as I punch his stomach, watching as he doubles over in pain, grunting, before kicking my stomach, making me fall back. I quickly recover, lunging forward, punching him in the face and he groans leaning back into the wall for support. I punch him again, making him release another pained grunt.

He slowly sticks his hand into my side, I cry out as he says, "Stop fighting. I dont want to hurt you, Princess."

I fall away from him onto the floor, watching as he climbs over me, his long limbs trapping my own. "You're not going to win." He tells me, blood from his nose and other cuts dripping onto my face. "I didn't want to do this but it's the only way to get you unconscious." He says before punching me directly in the face. I groan loudly, the pain is horrible.

I lean down, reaching for my knife until my fingers brush the handle, I grip it but feel another one of Rafes fists hit my face. I lift the knife and slice the first area my hand can find: his chest. Watching as his shirt rips, blood slowly seeping into it, his eyes meet mine. I now realise that he is high.

His eyes go wide in pain, then darken in anger. He monoverse himself, twisting so he could reach my hand as he twists the knife cutting my own hand as my grip loosens. Trying to reach the handle again, I feel him twist my arm, a cry leaving me as he whispers in my ear.

___

I bolt up, gasping for air, feeling my heart pound out of my chest. "Stop, stop it's okay" Elliot's voice tells me.

Sweat has dampened my face, itching my nose. My eyes bolt around the room, taking it in, insuring it was just a dream. "Casey, it's okay, you're fine it was a dream" he tells me, and my eyes snap to him, in front of me.

The moon pouring in through the window lights his face up. He's real. It was a dream. He's here and Im going to hurt him. The familiar knot forms in my throat bringing a sting to my eyes then tears glide down my cheeks.

"Stop, Casey stop, you're fine" he pulls me too him as I push away, crawling across the bed as I keep my hand out. His brows furrow, watching me. Im just protecting him; I tell myself as I feel my heart shatter at pushing him away.

___

After hours of laying in bed, I get up. Seeing Elliots face in hope I feel guilty. Walking outside, I feel the breeze against my skin. I reach for my backpack which JJ had dumped on the stairs before passing me to Elliot last night. Reaching inside I grab my lighter and cigarettes before lighting one. Feeling the smoke fill my lungs, I finally realise all my tension. I hear the footsteps of the others but ignore it, focussing on the smoke.

"Casey, please just say something." Blake spoke to me before I stood up, my raspy voice shouting, "Shut up!"

I quickly storm away and into the bathroom, rattling through the cupboards as I try to find a good drug to ease my need as she storms in after me. "What are you doing?"

"I need it... I fucking need it." I mumbled still trying to find a good drug.

Blakes hand quickly wraps around my wrist as she pulls me to face her, "Are you really gonna do this again? After last time? Remember how it ended? How you hurt me? Elliot? JJ?" She shouts as I fall silent, remembering the last time I fell into the trap of drugs.

___

"Stop! Casey, stop!" J screams as he swipes the drugs off the side onto the floor.

An anger that had laid dormant for a long time now, but it had always been there, in the core of me, filled me to the brim. An anger that had no direction, no purpose other than filling me up with red hot mania.

Unable to control myself, I threw my whole weight into punching him in the face. I punched him so hard that he let out a whimper of pain, his nose spilling blood.

"Casey." He gasped out in shock.

Looking down, seeing his blood on my hands filled me with so much guilt. The anger leaving me. "JJ..."

He stared at me, tears slowly spilling down his face as he backed away from me, "JJ... Im sorry."

___

"No, Im not." I mumbled as I stared back at Blakes face, the tears slowly flowing down my face.

"Tell me what happened, please."

Hearing her beg, I collapse, the sobs racketing through my body as she holds me. "He... he took me as I was coming down here and beat me. He kept beating me until I did what he wanted. I tried to leave, I promise but he threatened you guys and I- I couldnt let him hurt you. And then he was doing drugs and I so wanted to but knew I couldnt, not again."

"So why do you want to now?" She asked, pulling me closer as she stroked my hair.

"Because he killed the sheriff, the person who made me realise what I was doing to JJ, to you, to Elliot."

"I- I thought it was John B. Thats what the radio said." She mumbled out, watching as I shot up in shock looking up at her. "What? No, it was Rafe."

"Omg. I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

___
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