my online lover

what do we do?

I am laying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling and wondering why didn't I listen to myself and never went on that damn date. Brody is sleeping on my legs and his snoring is filling the silent room. Right now I wouldn't have both my life in danger and a Mafia son in my head. How do I forget someone? Like, how do I suddenly stop liking someone? Is there something to drink or to do? I would do anything I can to make my mind -and mostly my body- forget about him.

When I came back home, yesterday, the first thing I had to keep telling myself is that even if he likes me and I like him back, our lives are too different to make them collide. Kevin is charming but also dangerous.

I can't stay with him.

The other thing I had to think about is the whole target stuff; because that's what I am now. A target. I have a big red circle on my forehead with the words: shot here. And after the chat with Kevin, we didn't even find an actual solution to that because he just told me we need to wait for everything to end.

And when does this end? Where is the end? What will happen at the end? Will they die or Kevin? Will I die? No, I won't. Kevin would never let anything bad happen to me. This. This is wrong. I don't have to think about him saving me. I need to be strong enough to protect myself. And to do that I need to know how to defend, first of all. I don't even know how to kick, how am I supposed to protect myself from people who have guns?

In the end, I came out with something. I just need to talk with Kevin about it and see if he agrees. He must agree because I don't care if he wants to do the whole job. It's my life and I still want to live that normally.

The bell ringing reminds me that Antonio is here. I stand up and wake up the dog. I go towards the door while Brody follows me as usual. He follows me everywhere, even in the bathroom.

I asked Antonio to come here whenever he could come, so I could tell him everything and he decided to run out of the house and come here.

Once the door is opened, he enters with a lazy smile. He takes off his jacket slowly, as this is the first time for him to be inside my house.

«Do you want hot cocoa? Or something else?» I ask while moving into the house, followed by him.

Antonio is petting Brody when I ask the question but he looks up to face me. «Hot cocoa will be fine, with cream,» he answers me and then I can hear him saying sweet things to the dog. «He is so cute I wish you could keep him.»

«I know, I would love to keep him too but I can't. Maybe I will have one, someday,» I reply from the kitchen while I take the ingredients for the drink.

Antonio reaches me in the kitchen with the dog in his arms and Brody stays there like he is enjoying. I smile looking at the little puppy while my best friend sits on the little stool in front of the hob. «So, what did you want to tell me? You're finally speaking?»

I give him an angry look. «I wanted to tell you before but I needed to know everything so I could be more specific. It's not that I am keeping secrets from you,» I counter while going back to warm the milk.

«Yes, sure, so what's this the big secret you wouldn't tell me? Let's hear about it.»

I take a deep breath and turn my head over him again. «In poor words, he is a Mafia son and one day he will take his father's place as leader.»

Silence is surrounding us. Antonio is looking at me as I lost my mind and I totally understand his reaction. He stops petting Brody who is also looking at me confused. I won't say much more, I let my best friend fill his mind with this new information.

When I see that he is still not answering, I speak again. «What?»

«Are you joking?»

«Do I look like I am joking?»