my online lover

atonement

Kevin's POV

Two months after

I am facing the sheet of glass with the empty chair on the other side, waiting for the moment to come. My rage slowly went down, having the whole trip to think about this moment and how I would react once he is in front of me, and I decided to put aside the rage and act with control.

He doesn't deserve my feelings.

I lift my head moving it around to check if he is joining me or not. Then the door on my left, on the other side of the hallway, opens, and I almost jolt, not feeling fully ready to face him officially. I peer a look over there, seeing some other prisoners walking in single file, and I dart my eyes on them, searching for just one person and then stopping when I meet him.

My father.

He is already looking at me and has an amused smile placed on his face that I don't like.

I remember Enede's words she told me before I left the house this morning: he will play with your mind because he thinks he still has power over you. Just remember who is on the free side of the glass. And I also put a grin, feeling the adrenalin starting to grow inside me. The thought of her makes me always feel like I could do everything I want to. She is the only one capable of making me change my mind and push my limits.

I keep my eyes on my father, following his movement until he sits right ahead of me. He is wearing black clothes. His beard is long and not cured, the same as his hair. I'm sure he stopped worrying about his looks the moment he walked in here. He lost all his purpose of keeping his head over the city, and I have no idea what will happen after. But it's no longer my problem.

«Figlio,» he calls me out with a dim voice. Behind the glass is even harder to hear him. «You drove half country to reach me?»

I raise a brow, inching in his direction. «Yes, I did,» I reply. «You and I deserved a good conversation before never seeing each other anymore.»

I hear him chuckling before shaking his head, and then he places his eyes back on me. «What kind of conversation do you think we can have? Your little girlfriend already did the whole job.»

I clench my jaw as soon as he calls her out, but I stay firm on the chair, knowing that she is out of danger and not running every day to save her life. «I would say that if you'd let me go a long time ago when I asked you to, now you may have your ass saved,» I start tilting my head. «But I am glad you didn't. Behind this glass is the right place for you. You deserved this.»

«If you came here to toss on me all the bad shit I did, you can turn around and walk back.»

«I am not,» I fend off. «I wanted to see you. I wanted to tell you that you underestimated me, thinking I wasn't able to stand up for myself and be strong. You always thought of me as a weak one, but it never was like this.»

«You're right,» he suddenly says, shrugging, but something inside me tells me he is about to add something meaningful. I cross my fingers and place my hands on the little table ahead of me. «I underestimated you, but I will never stop thinking you're weak. You're like your mother.»

I strengthen my grip around my hands. «Leave Mom out of this,» I bark. «She doesn't deserve to be in your mouth.»

«You needed a girl to stand up, Kevin,» he adds, pushing away what I just said. «You needed a fucking little girl to grow a pair. Without her, you would still be behind my shadow and do what I tell you to do.»

I know he is partly right, but I'm not letting him know it from my mouth. «I would've done it sooner or later. I was pushing my limits. She was a help. A reason,» I assert with a stiff voice. «I was doing the main job, making you trust me, playing with you.»