my online lover

headbugs

I deeply sigh, slowly closing back my eyes and rolling my body on my stomach while the blanket follows me, twisting around my legs. I hug the soft pillow, sinking my face in it and gently feeling the sleep bringing me into slumber back again. But then my mind starts to work and my eyes are fully open. I face the wall in front of me with a little white cabinet, and some little plants on top of it and I quickly remember I am in Antonio's house, in his guest room where we can rename it as mine since I always sleep here.

The bed has a really good fresh smell and the pillow is so squidgy that it makes it very hard for me to leave it but then I recap all the things that today will happen.

Kevin, I and Daniele will meet at his office in the morning, as usual. I have barely slept. My mind worked all night about whatever Kevin has done yesterday. I refused to picture him as violent, beating someone to death or cutting someone's tongue and I hope I will never see this side of him. That's just something that doesn't suit my mind and if I will witness something like this, call me out of everything once and for all.

Also, I hope he won't go into details since we don't need it. We need names, places, and proofs.

Another thing that kept bouncing in my head was the date. After all, we're going through, I had a lot of second thoughts about it but not because of what Kevin may have done, but because I have the feeling it is wrong and that we have to wait for everything to finish. Somehow, I am fighting against my paranoid mind. Kevin isn't the bad guy, in this story.

A knock on the door brings my mind back to the earth and I lift my head to check on it. «Come in,» I avert while I sit in the middle of the bed, bringing the sheets with me because I feel cold. I push away my hair and rub my eyes while I yawn.

Antonio's head pops out of the door as he opens it. «Good morning sweetie,» he greets me with a smile and walks across the room to reach me. He sits on the corner of the bed and hands me my phone. «You're receiving a lot of texts and I think your father tried to reach you.»

I take my phone with a confused look and stare at the screen. My dad tried to call me yesterday night and I guess either I was sleeping in Kevin's office or I was sleeping here. I check the time and he tried to call me when I was still in his house. «Did he call you?» I ask Antonio and when he shakes his head, I sigh and call my father.

My best friend leaves the room giving me privacy to talk with my dad that answers quickly. I wonder if he is at work right now and considering it's nine o'clock, he probably is. «Enede, where have you been?» His tone is low but I can feel the nervousness in his voice.

«I am sorry Dad, I slept at Antonio's.»

«And why didn't you tell me?»

«Why would I?» That's a really bad answer. I always tell him when I am not sleeping at home because he should know why he doesn't find me for dinner.

I hear a deep sigh before the speaks again. «I don't know, lately you've been so weird. I never see you around, you're never at home. I just want to know if everything is fine or if something is happening.»

Ugh, I hate parents feeling. «Everything is fine, Dad, don't worry. I am just super busy with the university and when I am not there I study with Antonio.» My chest burns for the lies I tell him but I try to wrap my mind around something else to tell him. «I am also working with Daniele, about the book.»

«I know, I talked with him,» he comments and I can feel his proud smile even over the phone. «He told me it was a really good idea and you've got a really big head.»

He has no idea how guilty I feel right now, about all the lies I tell him. I can only imagine his feelings when he will know the truth. Because he will know. He has to know why he won't attend his daughter's graduation and why my book has never been written.