New Love

Chapter 38: Jay

"I can't do this without you," Lucy cried on the other end of the phone. I ran my hand across the back of my neck and glanced in through the sliding glass door. Emily's eyes were trained on me, but as soon as she saw me looking at her, she turned away. More than anything, I wanted to be in there with her. I had this whole night planned out. From the candles and champagne to telling her how I feel about her. Now, it was all shot to hell. Thanks to the girl on the other end of the phone.

"You can and you will," I said into the phone. "You're stronger than you think."

"I just don't understand why you don't want me anymore."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Do we really have to get into this tonight?" I wanted to end this call and get back to Emily. I wanted to savage what was left of our weekend together.

"If not tonight then when? We hardly see each other anymore."

I blew out a breath. "That's because we aren't together anymore, Luce."

"Why do you keep saying that? People are starting to believe it." She wailed.

I squeezed my eyes shut silently berated myself for ever falling into bed with Lucy. Number one biggest mistake of my life.

"Listen to me when I say this. I need you to move on, Lucy. I'm not your person. I never was and I never will be. You need to start calling your brother when you need to talk. Not me. I can't keep doing this."

I glanced over my shoulder and frowned. It was dark inside the room. Which meant Emily had blown out the candles and I had royally fucked up again.

"No, Jay. Please." She pleaded.

"I'm done. This ends here." I started to hang up, but Lucy surprised me with her next question.

"You're in love with someone else, aren't you?" I stood a step back and opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. "Who is she?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you." I told her. It was a conversation I never wanted to have with her and especially not before I told Emily how I really feel about her. That's what tonight was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about me and her. But instead I'm out her on the balcony, talking Lucy off a ledge yet again, while Emily is inside thinking who knows what. I definitely blew any chance I had of making it right.

"Is she skinnier than me? Prettier?"

"Stop it."

"Are you with her right now?"

Every part of me wanted to tell her yes. I was. I wanted to shout it at her. Tell her I was in love with Emily and there was nothing she could do that would change my mind.

But as the image of her sprawled in a bathtub, her wrists slit and bleeding out flashed behind my eyes, I knew that wasn't true.

"Lucy, I have to go. Please just promise me one thing."

"I won't stop loving you, Jay."

I sighed. "If you are thinking about hurting yourself, please call someone else. Troy or Casey. Or talk to someone there with you. Okay?"

"I'm not going to hurt myself."

I didn't believe her. Not really. But I had to end this call.

"Good." I leaned over the railing. "Go try to have fun with your friends." I pulled the phone away from my ear and ended the call. I contemplated throwing it right over the railing into the river that rushed below.

I rubbed my hand across my chest. I had hoped to be buried deep inside Emily by now. Feeling her body move against mine, hearing her soft whimpers as I pushed into her.

I had wanted the night to end out here, curled up with her on the lounger as we watched the sunrise. But even from three hundred miles away, Lucy knew how to ruin my night.

I looked back into the dark room, seeing no sign of Emily. Had she gone to bed? Had she left? My heart dropped at that thought.

I unlocked my phone and quickly opened my contacts. I had to make one more call before I went back in.

"What." A gruff voice answered from the other end.

"Have you talked to your sister?" I asked.

"Not today. I'm busy. I can't talk right now."

"Get unbusy." I growled. "I can't do this anymore, Troy. I can't keep being here for her. She needs you."

"I've already told you I can't get away from work right now. Maybe in a couple weeks."

"That's not good enough." I tapped my fingers on the balcony and gritted my teeth.

"That's the best I can do, man." He sighed.

I scraped my hand across my face. "I'm seeing someone. And if she finds out she's going to lose her shit." I confessed.

"Then don't let her find out."

I snorted. "Jesus, Troy. When did you become such a dick?"

"Maybe when my so called best friend decided to fuck my little sister."

"That's not what this is, man. And you know it."

"I know exactly what this is. I know the type of guy you are, Greene. Don't forget that."

"You don't know shit about me." I yelled. "Anyone else would have walked away from this shit ages ago and not cared what the repercussions were. I've stuck this out as long as I can. Now it's your turn."

"Cool it, dude. I'll get down there as soon as I can and straighten this out. And I'll call and check on her tomorrow."

"Fine." I clenched my fist.

"Now, go stick your dick in the new girl. It's only a matter of time before you are done with that too."

"Fuck you, Troy." I hung up on him and slammed the phone down on the concrete pavement, watching as it shattered. I started pacing, trying to get myself back under control. I had considered Troy my best friend growing up. We had been pretty much inseparable in middle school and through most of high school. But senior year, he started laughing at my sister and calling her names. He told me she was a freak and my mom should have aborted her. That was about when my fist met his nose and we hadn't talked the rest of the year. It wasn't until I made the mistake of hooking up with Lucy that I even talked to him again.

It's almost like he was gleeful when it happened. Lucy had latched onto me and held tight ever since. I was tired of both of them. It wasn't until I came to college that I even knew what true friendship was.

Once I had finally calmed back down, I opened the door and stepped back inside, hoping I could find a way to apologize to Emily and resurrect our night.