New Love

Chapter 39: Emily

I must have dozed off amidst my warm water and bubbles, because I was started awake by my cheek being stroked. My eyes shot open, taking in the man sitting on the edge of the tub, holding two glasses of champagne.

My eyes met his. His face was solemn and slack. His eyes were misty as he offered me one of the glasses.

"This isn't how I wanted this to go, but now it seems like the only chance I might get."

I sat up in the bath, exposing my breasts. I watched his gaze fall from my face to my breast then quickly back again. I took the glass he was offering and took a small sip. It was smooth and the bubbles tickled the back of my throat.

"To you and me." He held his glass out hoping for me to clink mine against his. But I didn't. "I want us to do everything we can to make this work."

I took a large gulp from my glass, then sat it on the rim of the tub. I pulled the stopper from the tub and as the water started to drain, I climbed out. I was aware of his eyes following me as I wrapped myself in a towel. I tried my best to ignore him as I dried myself off. I discarded the towel and wrapped myself in the fluffy white robe hanging on the back of the door. I took this time to gather the thoughts that swirled in my head. I kept trying to understand how we had gotten here.

I wasn't supposed to develop feelings for him. That's not what this was supposed to be. It was supposed to be fun and carefree. But it was far from that. My heart had gotten involved. I felt tears welling up behind my eyes, but I bit my tongue to keep them at bay. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him.

He was still just sitting there on the tub, holding his glass of champagne. Those baby blues of his were still locked on me. He was shirtless, his happy trail glistering with moisture. My heart skipped. Damn. I hated him for making me fall for him. I crossed my arms, hugging myself to keep from reaching out for him.

"Jay, I don't think we could ever make this work."

"Please don't say that." His voice cracked.

"All of this, it's just an illusion. This whole night was fruitless. We can't actually be a couple. I can't hold your hand whenever I want or kiss you when the mood strikes. I can't let myself have these feelings for you, because none of it is real."

The tears I had been trying to hold back slid down my cheeks. He was on his feet and standing in front of me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I started to sob, as he smoothed my hair and kissed my head. I was supposed to be mad at him, not letting him comfort me as I snotted all over him.

"Can we please just rewind and go back to where we were before the call?" He whispered in my ear. "Please, Emmy."

I pulled back and looked up at him. A single tear ran down his cheek, and it broke me. I let out a sob unable to control the flow of tears now.

"Hey, it's okay." He rubbed the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"We can't go back. The illusion is broken." I croaked.

"Baby, none of this is an illusion. Everything between us is very real." He rested his forehead against mine. "How I feel about you is very real."

"It can't be." I shook my head. "We aren't the only two people in this relationship and that's never going to change no matter how much I want it to."

"It can change. Please let me show you how much I mean that."

"I can't. You can never be what I need you to be." I felt like I had ripped out my own heart and laid it in front of us. I wanted every part of him. I wanted to know he was mine and for everyone else to know it too. But to the public eye, he belonged to someone else.

He stroked my cheek and lightly pressed his lips to mine. "I can be if you let me."

I shook my head, unable to speak at all.

"I know I am a lot and me asking you to stay with me has been too much to ask of you. But I don't want to lose what we have. I don't want to lose you."

"You barely know me," I whispered.

"That's not true and you know it." He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "You know as well as I do how right this feels between us. I feel like you know me better than anyone, and I know a little about what makes you tick too."

I tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. I hated that he was right. I had never held back my true self with him. I was comfortable with him from the first time I laid eyes on him.

"Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life, Emmy." He placed a kiss on my forehead. "I meant what I said earlier. This weekend was supposed to be about more than just sex. I wanted to prove to you that I wanted more. I want to be with you."

My hand pressed against his chest as I gazed up at him. He knew just what to say to make my heart start jumping again. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to imagine what something more with Jay actually looked like. Holding hands in the park, laughing together on the couch, dancing with him and kissing him at parties. Falling into bed with him, every night. God help me, I wanted that.

When I opened my eyes, he was looking down at me. Waiting for my response. I knew I couldn't lie. Not to him. Not ever.

"I want that too." A small smile shifted onto his face. "But..." I held up my hand, stopping him before he could kiss me. "You have a girlfriend and I can't be the other woman anymore."

"Lucy's not my girlfriend." He fired off what I was beginning to think was his mantra. He took my hands in his and kissed them. "Emily, you are."

I took a step back, my mouth falling open. My legs began to shake. He didn't just say...I shook my head.

"Jay, you can't just say that."

"I'm not." He pulled me back into his arms. I'm weak because I let him. "I mean it, Emmy. You're my girlfriend."

"If... if you mean that..." my voice shook.

"I mean it." He cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. "No more secret meetings and hiding this."

"Lu...Lucy will find out." I stammered.

"Let her." He kissed me again. "I'm tired of pretending I don't want to be with you. Because you are the only one I want."

"She will try to kill me." This had all escalated so quickly. I wasn't thinking clearly. He was saying all the things I had dreamed of him saying. And I'm still bumbling about the other girl. The very scary girl who had made some pretty hefty threats to anyone who was sleeping with him.

He shook his head. "I won't let her hurt you. I promise."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to process it all. I bit my lip, as I thought. He grunted then leaned in and sucked it out from between my teeth.

"Sorry." I smiled, even though I did love how much that little gesture turned him on.

"No you're not." He grinned and kissed me. "What do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?"

I was such a sucker for him and those damn blue eyes. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment, but this is what I wanted.

"Depends." I wrapped my arms around his waist and grinned up at him. "Does this mean that you will officially be my date for my birthday party next weekend?"

"Oh, so first you didn't tell me your birthday is next week, now I find out there's a party happening too?"

I shrugged. "Mia is making all the plans. I just had to agree on the theme."

"Oh, and what exactly is this theme going to be?"

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. Even though I really really wanted him to be my date that night.

"Dress for sex." I smiled salaciously at him. "So unless you want to grit your teeth all night while Abe tries to dance with me in my lingerie, I suggest you agree to be my date."

"I will break him." He growled and pulled me flush against him. "You are mine."

I sighed happily and wrapped my arms around his neck. "And you're mine."