Chapter 47: Emily

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I slammed the front door as I ran back into the apartment. I threw off my raincoat and kicked off my shoes, making my way to my room. I slammed my bedroom door and threw myself on the bed. The sheets still smelled like him, and that made me cry even harder. I heard my phone ring but I ignored it. I ignored Mia, when she knocked on my door later that evening. The storm outside had picked up and the rain beat against the window. It felt like the sky had broken right along with my heart.

I fell into a fitful sleep. In my dreams, I watched him walk away over and over again. He walked into the sunlight, while I stood in the rain. Lucy waited for him and they turned back to laugh at me as the two of them walked away together.

In another dream, he stood over a grave and I thought it was Lucy's but it was mine. He threw a black rose on top of the freshly churned dirt then took Lucy's hand and left me behind.

They all ended the same. I was left cold and alone.

Heading to class the next morning, it was still raining. I tugged the hood of my raincoat down low as I walked up the hill. I saw him standing under the awning, a hoodie pulled over his head. Even though my heart skipped, I pressed my lips together and walked past him, not even sparing him a glance.

"Emily." I heard him call after me. But I didn't slow down. I veered into the women's bathroom and leaned over the counter. The dreadful tears started to fall yet again, as I tried to staunch them. The door swung open and I turned, ready to bolt. But I stopped in my tracks. His frame filled the door. He heaved a sigh, then strided to me.

"I never wanted to make you cry." He pulled me into his arms. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"You can't be in here." I tried to push him away, but he held me tighter. "Jay, you have to leave."

He cupped my face in his hands and stared at me. His blue eyes swimming with emotion.

"Then tell me to go and I will. Tell me this meant nothing and I'll leave."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Jay... I..."

"Tell me, Emily." His hand slid around my neck. "Tell me you don't love me and I'll be gone."

I tried to speak. I tried to say something, but I couldn't. He did mean something to me. I had said hateful words to him yesterday, but I hadn't meant them. I loved him. I did. I just wasn't sure my heart could handle any more pain

He leaned in and kissed me, pressing me back against the counter. My body betrayed me. My arms snaked up around his neck. One hand pressed into my back, drawing me closer to him as he delved his tongue into my mouth.

I hated that he had this control over me. I had meant to be strong. To resist the urges I felt for him. I had thought yesterday was our final goodbye. I couldn't let this keep happening.

"Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't..." A female's voice had us breaking apart. A girl with long black hair stood in the entrance to the bathroom. "I'll just..."

"We are done here." I said. I pushed him back and swiftly headed for the exit. The girl moved aside as I pushed out the door. Jay on my heels.

"Hey, wait." He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. "Can we please go somewhere and talk?"

"I have to go to class." I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and started down the hall again.

"We're already late." He rushed to keep up with me.

"I can't miss any more class and neither should you."

He sighed. "If I go to class, will you talk to me afterward?"

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