New Love

Chapter 46: Emily

When I woke the next morning, he was gone. I lay in bed, tears streaming down my face. I reached up and clutched the pendent around my neck. He may think he wasn't good enough for me, that I deserved better, but nothing was farther from the truth.

He had been everything I had ever wanted and more. I never meant to fall in love with him, but I had. It hurt that we were never given a chance to just be in love with each other. It hurt knowing he was with her now. It hurt not knowing if I would ever get to see him again. I love him but in our case, love just isn't enough.

I wiped my eyes and sat up on the side of the bed. I managed to make my way out of my room into the living room. I slowly walked around the bar, leading into the kitchen. The floor was spotless. Will and Ashley had out done themselves. It didn't stop me from seeing Lucy lying there, in that puddle of blood. Her face so lifeless and Jay's guilt ridden face kneeling beside her.

I shook my head and quickly poured myself a glass of orange juice. I really wanted coffee, but I didn't want to stand here and wait while it brewed.

I found my phone plugged into the charger on the end table. I sat on the couch and unlocked it. No new messages, no missed calls. I pulled up his name and considered calling him, but then thought better of it. Instead I stared at the picture on his contact photo. He smiled at me with those blue eyes from my screen.

"Hey, you okay?" Mia asked, sitting down beside me. I realized I had been crying again. Tears streamed down my face.

"Not really." I closed my phone and laid it down on the table. Mia wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I'm here for you."

"He's not," I sniffled. "He left. And I don't think he's coming back." Mia patted my shoulder, trying to comfort me. But I only wanted comfort from him.

"I'm so stupid." I blurted. "I should have listened to you. I should have never gotten involved with him. Then none of this would have happened."

"That's not true." Mia said. "I was the stupid one for discouraging you. It's clear how much the two of you love each other." She leaned forward and grabbed a couple kleenex from the box on the table handing them to me. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. "What Lucy did was horrible, but it would have happened sooner or later. Whether the girl was you, or someone else he started dating."

"It doesn't matter. It's over now. I lost him before I ever really had him."

"I don't think that is true. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"He left to go be with her." I picked apart the kleenex in my hand. "Last night felt like goodbye."

"I bet you will hear from him soon. Just give him some time to let it all sink in."

I gave him all day Saturday and Sunday. He never called or texted. Everytime my phone dinged, my heart jumped into my throat, hoping it was him. It never was.

I talked to my mom, who called to wish me a happy birthday. I pretended everything was fine and managed not to cry during our conversation. Ashley kept texting or calling to check on me. I cried on the phone with Erin, filling her in on the events of the night. I couldn't eat, but Mia kept forcing me to drink water. I eventually drank it just to get her to leave me alone.

I almost called him a hundred times and texted him a hundred more. But I refrained. He was the one who had left. He had made it clear he didn't want me to be there for him. So, I instead cried until my eyes were swollen and I had no more tears left to cry.

When my alarm started blaring on Monday morning, I shut it off and considered rolling back over and going back to sleep. Instead, I made myself get up and get in the shower. I wasn't sure if he would even be in class. Seeing him would hurt, but at least I would know he was okay. He still hadn't called or texted. This is the longest we had gone without some sort of contact since we first met. Every day I talked to him, or texted him. Every day for three months. Now nothing.